Shine Bright

My goal today is to be a beacon of positivity to all those around me. I do not want to add negativity to an already negative world. I want to be the bright light in a dark room. 

I think it is vitally important that we strive to bring happiness to those around us, even if it is just a smile. 

Today, challenge yourself to bring positivity to those you meet. 

Puking because of what you see?

This seems to be my problem since I got pregnant. Yesterday I saw someone blow a snot rocket and I have thrown up three time since seeing it. I already have obsessive thoughts due to my anxiety disorder, but they have been under control for awhile now. However, ever since yesterday this moment keeps playing in my mind over and over and it won’t stop. Unfortunately, now that I’m pregnant I throw up all the time. So I am stuck in this never ending cycle of snot rockets and vomit.

Earlier in my pregnancy I threw up because my sink looked really gross and I’m not sure if I am the only one who throws up because of things I see. It is really bizzare. Smells don’t bother me very much but sight does. 

Has anyone else experienced this? Or have any advice how to get out of my endless mental cycle today? 

Thank you for letting me vent. It has been a rough 24 hours. 

Trying to be Patient 

I am now 12 weeks pregnant, and I am finding it difficult to be be patient as I wait for my little unborn child to develop. What I mean is – I just want to meet them! I want to hold them in my arms and cuddle the heck out of them. 

I am so looking forward to seeing what they look like, how they sound and even the way they smell. I heard babies smell nice, so it’s not too weird. 

I am trying to celebrate every moment but really I just want to hold my baby. ❤️

Pregnancy Continued

I am half way into the 11th week of my pregnancy and things are going well. I am still feeling nauseous, and somedays I am feeling frustrated about being sick. However, things are slowly getting better, and I am going to be grateful for each moment (no matter how short) of not being nauseous.

I have also noticed that I have hit the emotional part of my pregnancy! I am not a big crier, but I have cried A LOT the last two days. I don’t even know what it was about, but I just felt like i needed to sob! I feel sorry for my husband! God bless him! LOL!

OH! And I still have NO Anxiety! YAY!

11 weeks!

Wow! I don’t know how it has happened, but I am 11 weeks pregnant! Apparently, my baby is around the size of a lime! That seems huge to me, considering they just a few weeks ago it was a poppy seed! 

I actually found that today I had a lot of energy, and that hasn’t happened in weeks. I was able to get through work without crashing immediately when I got home. 

I am still throwing up in the mornings (boo), but my nausea doesn’t last all day anymore. I seem to finally be experiencing a little bit of relief. I am hoping and praying that it will end soon!

Oh! And I have ZERO anxiety! I haven’t had much at all since I got pregnant. I was really worried that it would get really bad, but it seems to have disappeared, and for that, I am thankful! 

Cheers to week 11 and ZERO anxiety! 

A little guilty

Today my emotion is guilt. I feel deeply guilty that I am not enjoying my pregnancy. I lost my first pregnancy at 6 weeks back in March and desperately have been praying for a child for several years. Now that I am pregnant, I have been feeling miserable, and even at times demoralized (i.e. peeing my self while throwing up, unable to eat, throwing up all the time, gagging all day etc). I know that all of these symptoms are a sign of a beautiful miricle taking shape inside of me, but I continue to find it difficult to be happy when all I am doing is throwing up or laying on the couch because I am too nauseous to move. These conflicting emotions have made me incredibly guilty. 

Another reason why I am feeling guilty is because I have done nothing around the house , to help my husband, in nearly 10 weeks. The last time I did dishes, I ended up throwing up because it looked, and smelled disgusting. He has been doing laundry, dishes, yard work, taking care of the dogs, and cleaning while I have been laying around. Now I know I’m not just laying around. I know I am resting because growing this baby is exhausting, but I feel like he gets frustrated. He has never said anything, but it is hard to just watch and not have the energy (or stomach) to help him. 

Have any of you dealt with guilt while pregnant? What are your thoughts?