What do we do with anxious thoughts?

We all have negative thoughts. We all experience anger, frustration, and fear. These are all natural emotions and it is ok to have them. However, it crosses the line when we allow these negative feelings to control us. It is up to us to push past these thoughts and emotions to focus on positivity.

Anxiety disorders make this task feel insurmountable! There are days when I feel as if I will never be normal. Never feel at peace. However, when I feel despair creeping in, I give it to God. What does that mean? That means I acknowledge that I am not broken. There is a plan for my pain. And I do my very best to focus on something good. 

This morning I woke up with an anxiety of a 6 out of 10 (which is uncomfortable) and I was immediately angry. I wish I never had to struggle with this disease. However, I know that my anxiety helps me be a better teacher to my students with mood disorders. A better wife to my anxious husband. And a light to those who may not think victory is possible.

I am here to tell you victory is possible. I may still experience high levels of anxiety at times, but my life is full. I am able to experience peace, joy and excitement. 

Don’t give up. Keep pushing forward. 

It can be hard

Being patient can be difficult. I tend to be terrible at waiting for God’s timing- hints my ADHD- and instead I often rush things along so they can be accomplished at my own speed. However, over the years, this technique has not proved to be helpful. My prayers recently have been asking for patience as my husband and I continue on our baby journey.

My husband and I are in our second month of trying for our baby, but years in planning/discussions. I feel myself wanting to rush forward and be in the second trimester, or even post birth, but I am trying to stay present and appreciate the journey. I have to admit that it has been incredibly difficult. 

Due to my anxiety disorder, There have been so many fears about whether or not i can even get pregnant. I have found that I constantly ruminate on this fear. I even had a dream last night that my uterus was “closed”. Whatever that meant! Ahh!

I am continually working on staying in prayer and remembering that God has a plan. I do not want my anxiety or ADHD to ruin the journey that my husband and I are embarking on. I want to soak in every moment. 

Dealing with the every day

An Anxiety Disorder isn’t something that will ever go away overnight. It isn’t something that can be cured. It is something that will follow you around every day, for the rest of your life. 

Even though these realities are dismal, that doesn’t mean it is hopeless. There are ways to conquer and control anxiety. You do not have live your life being controlled by it. Take back your control and learn how to manage the disease. 

It took me years to finally come to terms with the fact that my anxiety was not going to go away. However, I am at peace with it. I am at the point where I can see it as a blessing and it to help those around me who are struggling with the same thing.

If you feel lost right now- don’t. It will get better. Just don’t give up. 

Love is a blessing

This week I really tried to focus on finding the positive moments within my day and mediating on them. I had some trouble on a few days (grumpy, overworked, and sleep deprived ones) but, overall, I realized I couldn’t have done it without the support of my husband. When I was being whiny and negative, he reminded me that I needed to find something good to anchor my mind on. 

I have been thinking about how blessed I am to have found someone who fits me so perfectly. I didn’t find him until I was in my late 20s, and I wasn’t sure I was ever going to find my “one true love”. I actually wasn’t sure that exsisted outside of the movies and books. However, God proved me wrong, and unleaded my inner romantic. I am so happy that I have someone who challenges me to be the best I can be, and encourages me to find the good in every situation. 

  Here he is on our wedding day! ❤️

H

 

My light in the darkness

Since my overall theme of the day has been “positivity” I wanted to share my ray of light with you. My husband is someone with whom I can always lean on in times of anxiety. He suffers from an anxiety disorder as well (I feel sorry for our future child lol) and he is able to relate to what I am going through. I feel incredibly blessed to have a man who will hold me when I feel anxious, push me outside of my comfort zone and pray with me when I feel weak. God knew what he was doing when he brought us together ! 

  

Positivity Challenge

Last night I posted about how I have been very anxious and negative over the past few weeks, and I proclaimed that this week I am going to only focus on positivity. 

It is very important for those of us with anxiety disorders, or any mental disorder, to not dwell on negative feelings. We are prone to feelings of despite, but we can combat them by not allowing them to bounce around in our minds. 

Today, I challenge you to look past the darkness and find the light. Even if it is only a sliver. Acknowledge the good in your life and little by little your mind will align with it.