When you suffer from anxiety, as I do, it is vital to have at least one person on whom you lean on during your most difficult times. A person who will love and accept you, just as you are. Someone who knows the way you need to be soothed during a panic attack, or knows just the right words to string together to form the perfect verbal cure for your affliction. Facing anxiety alone is never a wise decision. Believe me, I tried for years. In my own ignorance of my disorder, I felt that I could take care of myself. I thought that if I could not handle my own anxiety I was weak. However, as time has passed, and I have discovered more about anxiety, I realize now that my refusal to reach out for help, whether medical or emotional, was my true weakness. My pride blocked my road to healing for so many years. Once I was finally able to reach out to those around me, I began to heal and find my way back to myself.
My family has truly been the strongest support in my life. This includes my darling husband, loving parents, my supportive brother. My in-laws have also supported me in times when I needed a shoulder to cry on or an ear to yell at. I would not be this far in the healing process without them.
I believe that God has been beside me throughout my entire journey, however, I was too stubborn to accept His guidance. I thought I would be able to face it myself and I knew better than He did. My way was best. Of course, I was wrong. Over the years I heard the faintest whisper to reach out and tell people what was really going on instead of hiding behind plastic smiles and forced laughter. Only when I decided to listen to the whispers and expose myself to those around me, did I receive the greatest blessing I could have ever received. Support. My biggest fear was that people would think I was crazy or creating drama in my own mind. I thought people would change their opinion of me and stop wanting to be around me. These thoughts couldn’t have been further from the truth. As I opened up about my struggle, more and more people opened up about theirs. I no longer feel alone. I feel loved and accepted. Isn’t that what we all want? Don’t we all want to be loved for who we are, and not who we pretend to be? It is one of the most incredible feelings to experience when you express your struggles and find acceptance waiting for you.
I encourage anyone who is hiding behind false happiness and fake joy to admit you are struggling to at least one person. Let someone know that your life is not as perfect as you let on, and you need someone to be there in your times of weakness. Be brave. I know you can be!