Everyday I find myself experiencing more and more personal victories that I never thought I would be able to reach. One of my most difficult anxiety triggers is traffic jams, and today I was stuck in a HUGE one. It took us 2 hours to go 14 miles! We had just driven onto the highway when we realized that traffic was stopped. Literally, we had to put our work van (since we were heading out on a business trip) in park for 10 or minutes at a time! People around us were going crazy, jumping out of their cars, driving on the median, cutting people off and driving across to the other side of the highway to get out of the traffic. Being a mature and law abiding citizen, I did none of these things, well I should say my husband did none of these things. He was lucky enough to be chosen to go on this training with me. I feel very blessed that he was able to go on this trip with me this time because being around him helps me feel calm and peaceful.
When I first saw the endless line of shining vehicals, as far as my eyes could see, anxiety immediatly clawed at my chest. I felt the rising panic threatened to send me into hysterics, but I was on a work outing and I couldn’t let anyone see the terror in my eyes. I keep practicing my self talk and told myself over and over that I would be ok and that I would not be stuck in the traffic forever. It will pass. Slowly the itching panic began to subside and was replaced with calm. Even though we were stuck in the car for two hours, only going 10 miles on hour, I never complained. I whinned a little, but only about how frustrating it was. I remember times in the past where I had full on fits or panic attacks when I was stuck in traffic. BUT! God has brought me so far along in my healing and I am so thankful! It was a huge test to be able to pass and I am exstatic!