Having anxiety and being a good wife can be difficult. I know my anxiety can make me appear selfish. I get caught up in my own fear and worry and in the process forget about his needs. This has happened in the past so I am working to ensure this doesn’t become a regular occurrence. I want to be sure that my husband’s needs are met, however, I learned that if I do not take care of myself first, then I am in condition to be Wife of the Year.
When I was lost to anxiety last year I saw no one else. I felt nothing but anxiety and could think of little more. My husband wasn’t even on my radar. During that time we drifted far apart, and the worst thing about it was that I didn’t even notice. I was so wrapped up in myself that I lost sight of him. He was going through a lot in his life as well. Starting a new job, working towards his masters degree, and learning to manage his own anxiety while holding a position of leadership. I didn’t bother to reach out to him to support him. I only thought of how anxious I was.
I may sound a little hard on myself, however, it is reality. I don’t want to sugarcoat my behaviors. I think I needed a little Come To Jesus Talk. When I finally realized I needed help, and I got the help I needed was able to overcome my anxiety with the support of my family. It feels good to be able to help serve others instead of being trapped in my own anxiety.
I want to fulfill all of my husband’s needs and show him that he is truly loved. I am blessed to have a man who always stands beside me, in sickness and in health, and I will forever strive to return those vows. Anxiety or no Anxiety!
**P.S. Those rings in the picture are ours! He picked out the ring and I was so proud of him!**
The Persistent Platypus 
Wow! Those feelings you described are what I have experienced before.
Thank you for sharing.
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You are welcome! It is hard to be a spouse and have anxiety. Anxiety in itself drags us inward so we must fight to stay outward and focus on those around us! I think that is a way we can beat it! 🙂
Thank you for stopping by my blog! I really appreciate it!
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I am so right there with you. My husband is patient & understanding, but it isn’t easy to be married to someone with anxiety & depression and it’s taken its toll on our marriage.
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Yes it does
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Thanks for sharing your experience. I too, know what it’s like to be so anxious, that I tend not to (at that moment) think about anyone else and what they’re going through. It can be hard when you feel as if you are in danger because your fears take control, but I think if we all work hard, we can teach ourselves that we are stronger than our fears.
It’s also inspirational to see someone that is married go through anxiety and still hold on to her relationship. I often wonder what it will be like if I get married and have anxiety, but hopefully I’ll be able to overcome it by then.
Also, the rings are very pretty!
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Thx for sharing. It sounds like you have a very supportive husband–and that is a blessing!
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Yes it is
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I had a very similar experience of drifting apart and had to make that same choice to also hold his needs up as well as my own. But just like you so eloquently said, it was very important that i come to terms with loving myself way more than i was at the time. We still have a lot to work on, but life has been hard on us in the last few years and we have forever to talk it out as long as we still both respectful and loving. And we are. I love this post, you really addressed a worry many chronically ill or anxious folks have in common when it comes to relationships. Wonderful insight!
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Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. It is difficult having a mental disorder or any illness and try to stay aware of our spouse’s needs. When I wrote this post, I didn’t know so many other could relate. I truly thought I was alone in this issue. Thank you again, for your comment!
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It’s leaps and bounds of progress to not only learn to love ourselves, but to then take that newfound love and apply it to our partners as well, improving their lives while we enrich our own. It’s beautiful that you are able to write so openly about things you feel alone in. Not to mention that it’s brave, and very important, to share these parts of ourselves that we feel the most vulnerable about, and you do that so well.
It is such a positive experience to read all the progress and happiness you have found all by yourself this year. You have learned so much about yourself, what you personally need and how to go get it, and at the same time you keep your experiences with anxiety very honest, you don’t gloss over the parts of growing and success that are painful or challenging.
Thank you, sweetheart, on so many levels!!! ❤
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Awww you are too kind! Thank you so much!
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Hi there, this isn’t really a comment on “The Anxious Wife” in particular, but I just read this and wondered if you had seen it: http://www.vox.com/2014/12/4/7262991/anxiety-disorder-help?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=voxdotcom&utm_content=monday
Do you agree with all the points in here? Anyway, keep up the good work – I admire what you’re sharing on your blog! You are definitely helping others.
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Thank you so much! I opened the article and I thought that it was very insightful. I actually agreed with all of the points. Especially the one that talked about how anxiety is part of who we are, the people with disorders. It has taken me years to finally accept that. Once I did accept it, I felt at peace.
What are your thoughts?
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I thought #7, about being helpful to someone with anxiety by listening instead of talking, was great advice. I wasn’t aware that some people have such severe physical problems tied to their anxiety (#4). Overall, to me the link seemed very insightful – for those who have anxiety, as well as for their loved ones.
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I really need to work on the listening instead of talking. I always want to help by giving ideas of what has worked for me, however, what works for me doesn’t always work for everyone. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing the article!
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