I have to admit that I am going through a mini midlife crisis at the moment. In a little more than one month, I will be turing 30 years old, and for whatever reason, I am terrified. I have always thought people in their 30s are professional and responsible. When I imagined myself at 30, I pictured myself living in NYC or Chicago with a huge walk in closet full of Prada shoes and Coach purses. However, I live in a small town in Arizona and do not have a designer pair of shoes or purse to my name. I am not unhappy with where I live or the life I have, in fact I adore my life and what I have made for myself. Though, I wouldn’t mind having designer shoes! It is just that, to me, turning 30 jst seems so monumental and “adult”.
I think what really is bothering me the most is that I feel like I suddenly have to be more mature and responsible. I honestly have always been a child at heart and have prided myself with that fact. I own a Harry Potter wand, I love animated films, I wear nerd shirts, I love the color pink, and I have even kept two of my favorite stuffed animals from when I was child and have them on display in our guest room. What I am saying is that I feel like I have to grow up and loose the inner child that I have always prided myself on. I am afraid that I continue to be childlike at heart I will be perceived as strange or immature.
Has anyone else ever felt this way or gone through these types of struggles? It has been plaguing me for a long time now and I have only recently been able to put these feelings into words.
Thank you for listening to my vent! 🙂