Turning 30 and I am not sure how to feel

I have to admit that I am going through a mini midlife crisis at the moment. In a little more than one month, I will be turing 30 years old, and for whatever reason, I am terrified. I have always thought people in their 30s are professional and responsible. When I imagined myself at 30, I pictured myself living in NYC or Chicago with a huge walk in closet full of Prada shoes and Coach purses. However, I live in a small town in Arizona and do not have a designer pair of shoes or purse to my name. I am not unhappy with where I live or the life I have, in fact I adore my life and what I have made for myself. Though, I wouldn’t mind having designer shoes! It is just that, to me, turning 30 jst seems so monumental and “adult”.

I think what really is bothering me the most is that I feel like I suddenly have to be more mature and responsible. I honestly have always been a child at heart and have prided myself with that fact. I own a Harry Potter wand, I love animated films, I wear nerd shirts, I love the color pink, and I have even kept two of my favorite stuffed animals from when I was child and have them on display in our guest room. What I am saying is that I feel like I have to grow up and loose the inner child that I have always prided myself on. I am afraid that I continue to be childlike at heart I will be perceived as strange or immature.

Has anyone else ever felt this way or gone through these types of struggles? It has been plaguing me for a long time now and I have only recently been able to put these feelings into words.

Thank you for listening to my vent! 🙂

27 thoughts on “Turning 30 and I am not sure how to feel

    • LOL that is so true. It is just a number. I am so happy to hear child-like wisdom doesn’t have to go away. I think that is my biggest fear. I don’t want to give up the child inside of me! I think it helps me as a teacher and why I am so good at reaching middle school students.


  1. LOL, it gets easier! By the time you are 40, you can go back to your childish things, you start to care less about other people’s opinions, and you wouldn’t relieve your 20’s for a million bucks. Getting older is awesome. Fear not.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heck yeah, I’m 26 and just realized that I want a completely different career. Now I feel like I’m at square one and no where near where I wanted to be by this point. Freaks me out all the time, but you can’t stop time, so try and enjoy the moments and go with the flow of life working towards the things that make you happy.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think you should never be ashamed to just be you, child at heart and all. The thief of happiness is comparison and honestly, those people that SEEM to have all their crap together have a different set of problems. Continue to be true to yourself and how you feel in your heart. That’s the only real way to find happiness!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hope you never lose your inner child. I really just found mine at 55. I feel like I am on an adventure and that the future holds many possibilities. Also, there are lots of ways to live a “successful, mature life.” Trust yourself and your growth process.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I turned 30 last year, going to be 31 next month…and I totally feel you. My hair is pink and blue and purple and green, I sit around watching Harry potter and Pixar films all day. I still get excited about new barbies. For Christmas my husband (who’s almost 35) and I gave each other toys (ahem, I mean “action figures”….hehe) anyway … I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be. But, who cares? I like my funny colored hair and my barbies and my Harry potters and most books I read are YA and why should it matter? I look at my peers who are miserable with their mortgages and 3rd marriages and kids who run their lives and think do they have it any more together than I do? I don’t think so. At least I can eat cocoa puffs when I wake up in the morning 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. After getting laid off from a job I had for 5 years because they closed, and watching everything I worked for get thrown away in a snap…I just don’t care about jobs as much anymore. Not the same way at least, like striving for employee of the month and stuff. Anything you work for could be gone in a heart beat, and when you leave there’s a chance no one could care what you did.

    Which is why its all the more better to invest in things above, instead of things here. Because nothing here lasts, nothing here matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I didn’t want to be 30 and that was almost 3 years ago. Age is just a number. I still do childish things and who cares we need to stay young. I have moved jobs 3 times and don’t have a career but I pay my bills and live comfortably. If u want those shoes go get them! I bought a pair of Jimmy choos on my birthday and I adore them! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m 28. I have been feeling some of the same things too. I don’t like the job I have and I don’t know what I want to do long-term career wise.
    I still wear nerd shirts (and don’t plan on stopping) and watch animated movies with my husband. That part doesn’t concern me. I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with wearing graphic tees and watching ‘kid’ movies. That’s who we are. It’s what we like and we take pride in that.
    As far as not being where I wanted to be, I’m starting to think it’s ok too. Who says you have to be exactly where you want to be by 30. Maybe 30-40 can be the time we figure out where we want to be and how to get there. And work really hard to get it. And then enjoy the hell out of it!! -Ava

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Don’t worry about 30 or growing up. It’s only what society wants and expects. I turned 45 last year, and am still feel like a 12 year old. I love comics (reading and making them), ride a BMX, rap like a kitten who’s swallowed a bucket of gravel, watch cartoons, play with Lego… Don’t ever feel that you have fit a box. Just be you!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 30 is when all of the most awesome things began in my life! I began my career, and met my husband. Wait until you hit 40! Hol hell that’s when your body decides to fall apart!

    Liked by 1 person

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