Tonight, just as the sun was setting over the cascading mountains in the distance, I absorbed the last moments of light upon my face. As I stood watching the slow decent of the sun, I realized I was surrounded by silence. Even though the silence was surrounding me, I could hear the whooshing of the wind, chirping of the birds, and the song of the mountains. What I could not here was my anxiety. That horrible, constant whisper of fear and torment that often lingers in my thoughts. It was gone. I was able to stand there and see the beauty of life without hearing my mental plague. Rarely does my mind sit still with the combination of anxiety and ADHD that plays continuously in the background of all my thoughts. It was a true blessing for it all to still and allow me to enjoy the wonder of the moment.
As I sit here now, writing about this beautiful moment, I am realizing that without my anxiety I would never fully appreciate peace. That moment of watching the sun set would not have been as wondrous had I not understood what an anxious mind felt like. I believe that my anxiety allows me to see the world differently and appreciate peace deeply. I am thankful for the blessings that are disguised by my disorder. I am glad that I am finally able to see the good in my anxiety! It has been a long road, but I am grateful that I am finally at that point!