I struggled for years with the idea that my anxiety disorder made me a weak person. A bad Christian. A shameful woman. I felt I had done something wrong and needed to be forgiven day after day for it to be alright. However, no amount of prayer, conversation or willingness would make it disappear. I began to feel like a failure. As if God didn’t and couldn’t love me, and I didn’t love Him, which I desperately did.
Many times throughout scripture, it says to cast your cares. Do not worry. Be anxious for nothing. Since I was unable to cast my cares it made me a bad Christian. Right? Wrong! My disorder has NOTHING to do with my faith or my worthiness as a woman.
I spent many years feeling guilty and ashamed, but I now see that it was in vain. The chemicals in my brain do not define me! The decision to love Christ and those around me cannot be judged on the fact that I carry the burden of an anxiety disorder. I am so much more than that.
God uses everything we experience in our lives to help others, and my anxiousness is no exception. Now that I have fully accepted it as a part of who I am (just a small part not all of who I am) I am finally able to see how He has used it as a blessing.
A part of me is sad that I felt guilty for so many years, however I believe I am not alone in this struggle. Many of us feel ashamed of our mental disorders because some small part of our mind thinks we did something wrong. I am here to tell you that you have done nothing wrong. You are perfect! In fact, you are stronger because of your disorder! Embrace yourself for all that you are!
Thank you for your kind words and positivity. You touched on something similar to what I just posted about. I’m sorry you spent so many years feeling guilty. You are definitely not weak. In fact, I look up to you and hope to one day be as successful.
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Aww thank you so much for your kind words.
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You’re welcome! Did you by any chance get my email?
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Hmmm I didn’t get your email. Could you send it again?
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It made you strong! Look at you now!
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😀
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i honor your discovery. i hope it feels good to put the boxing gloves away and stop beating yourself up.
you’re probably a better christain then i since i can not quote this significant passage chapter and verse, and book for that matter. let me quasi-relay the message. jesus is asked why we are given burdens of we have a loving god. jesus replies that we are not given borders to weigh us down but to glorify god. your discovery says anxiety is no longer a burden but a way to glorify god. excellent job for your action! through you actions, you both live the gospel and glorify god. i don’t think much more could be asked of a christain.
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Thank you for the encouragement! 😀
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no prob. we all need some of that sometime especially when facing an ugly beast like anxiety.
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Yes we do!!!
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I agree that brain chemicals have little to do with how faithful you are. You seem like a wonderful and strong person.
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Thank you 😀😀
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I also struggle with anxiety and many times depression likes to tag along with it. I will say that it also took me a long time to realize that just because I struggle with this, it is not my identity it is just a part of me. I love where you said “The chemicals in my brain do not define me!” This is so true, but those like us with this issue often tend to think that it is somehow our fault…and it is not!! It is something that we were created with, but that doesn’t mean that we are in anyway broken! Thank you so much for sharing your struggle so openly! I will be re-bogging this for sure!
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I am glad my words are appreciated!
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Reblogged this on A Girl Named Shasta and commented:
Elle over at The Persistent Platypus shares her very open and real feeling about how she is dealing with a life of anxiety. I truly love her open and honest approach to how, as someone who deals with anxiety and depression, it really does often effect the way we view ourselves and our relationship with God.
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you for the kind words!
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Reblogged this on My Life in Scripture.
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Thank you! 😄😅
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I love your blog. It’s like reading posts from a dear friend. I hope you don’t mind when I occasionally re-blog a post. Thank you for continuing to bless me and others with your words of wisdom! 🙂
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Awwwwwww thank you!!! And I am so happy that you reblog my posts!
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I’ve felt that way before. I’ve prayed to God many times and yet I am still battling depression and anxiety. But yet what if God is using this to show His glory? God can use anything and anyone for His will. For example, your blog touched others lives including mine. Remember in John 9, people thought a man was blind, because it was a punishment from God for something either he or his family did. Jesus said neither was the case…the man was born blind to show God’s glory to the world. God can use you for that same purpose too.
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That is an incredible point!
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I sent it through your contact page on here. I sent another one.
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