A better me

Over this past year I have written a lot about the many years  I spent fighting with myself, and God, about my anxiety. I hated it. Felt weakened by it, and was angry I had been “cursed” with such a burden. I was even more upset by the fact that He never took it away. I spent years trying to find out what I had done wrong and as a result my suffering felt endless.

However, this year I have finally realized that it is not a curse. It is a true blessing. A blessing that I never noticed until now. I am able to use it to help those around me who suffer from the same affliction. I have become more passionate. More loving. More understanding. And more thankful because of my anxiety. I feel that I have become a better me because of it. Anxiety is not who I am, but it will always be apart of who I am. It is something I have embraced because I must first love myself before I can truly love those around me.

I am not saying that anxiety is easy, because it is not. I have very painful days, but in those moments I try to remember that I will overcome. I am stronger. I am better. I have finally been able to embrace the strength that God has given me to overcome! 

25 thoughts on “A better me

  1. It seems you are starting to push aside the darkened clouds, allowing you to see the clear sky and ray of light.
    This is you, keep going, hold onto the ‘positive you’ with both hands and grow.
    Good luck.
    Remember, you ARE loving, understanding and kind. You ARE a sparkling star.
    xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One of the toughest verses in scripture is the one that tells us to be thankful in all circumstances. Gosh, did I struggle with that until I realized that authentic gratitude makes it impossible for something bad to ruin our lives and actually encourages us to USE whatever the affliction/circumstance is as a conduit…for good. Our affliction becomes our opportunity.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Anxiety is not who I am, but it will always be apart of who I am. It is something I have embraced because I must first love myself before I can truly love those around me.” Thank you so much for writing these words!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s