This past Friday, I wrestled with some high levels of anxiety. On a scale from 1-10, I was sitting between a 7 and 9 the entire afternoon. It was a truly uncomfortable day, and one I would not care to repeat. However, in spite of the difficulties I experienced, I was able to carry on and push through the anxiety. I had my friends and my students to take my mind off it and help me refocus.
Having the immense amount of anxiety on Friday triggered some memories of thoughts and discussions I had shared with my WordPress family. I have posted in the past about how I am thankful and even grateful for my anxiety disorder. I felt compelled to revisit these statements after experiencing severe anxiety. Are those words just something I said during a time of anxiety remission? Or did I honestly mean them? Anyone looking in on my struggle would understand completely if I became bitter or upset about it. Why not just choose that path?
After much contemplation I came to the conclusion that I truly do feel grateful for my disorder. Even during those times when it is difficult to focus on anything other than the fear building and pushing down on my chest. I am thankful to be able to relate to those around me who are having the same struggle. I have helped so many of my students learn to accept their own anxiety, and that in itself is more than enough to bring the thankfulness in my heart to full bloom.
For all of you struggling with acceptance, just know that your pain will lead to someone’s healing. It won’t always hurt. It won’t always feel hopeless. Don’t give up. Push onward.