Over the past few days, I have felt very off kilter. My anxiety has been very high, and my motivation low. I am also finding it very difficult to just relax, because each time I try, I feel guilty. I feel I should be working on something for my classroom or checking assignments. When the guilt begins to intensify, I start to work on grading papers or writing IEPs. However, once I start in on those tasks, I normally do not finish until a few hours later, which continues to cause my anxiety to increase. I feel as if I am caught in an endless cycle this week, and am unable to get out of it.
I know I will eventually be able to break the cycle, and rediscover my joy and contentment. However, right now I am feeling defeated. I feel incredibly defeated by my continual battle with anxiety, and sometimes, I just wish I didn’t have it. I wish feeling at peace wasn’t difficult.
I know God will continue to be by my side as I continue to fight this war, so I am placing my trust in His hands. I will do my part, and not allow negative thoughts to overshadow my positive ones, and I will practice positive self-talk. I will not allow anxiety to control my life and direction in which it is heading. I am in control, and I choose the course!
Thank you for listening to my vent tonight. I know that there are others of you out there who have experienced the same struggles and can relate to my off week. Thank you for continually supporting me as I continually learn how to fight the battle against anxiety.