Anxiety: My Bane

It has taken me the entirety of my 30 years of life to accept the fact that I suffer from an anxiety disorder. I have always known I had one, however, accepting it is different from knowing. When I only knew that I had a disorder, I was angry, frustrated, depressed and extremely bitter. I hated every heart palpitation. Every second given to a tight chest, and most of all despised panic attacks. My prayers were full of rage and endless one sided negotiations. I wanted anything but anxiety. 

However, as I have accepted my disorder, I see it in a different light. Not something that pulls my life backwards, but something that flings me forward. By being open about my anxiety, I have been able to help those around me. I have shown them that they can live a life of peace in spite of their anxiety. They can be happy and joyful. The disorder doesn’t have to control them. I can show them that there is hope. 

It has been a very, very long road, but it has been worth it. I am much stronger because of it. 

14 thoughts on “Anxiety: My Bane

      • I went to one, before yesterday actually. He gave me a medication and told me he thinks I am strong enough to fight it. Which kept me thinking… If I was that strong I would not be visiting him… But I didn’t want to argue. I just thought let it be and get out of here…

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