It can be hard

Being patient can be difficult. I tend to be terrible at waiting for God’s timing- hints my ADHD- and instead I often rush things along so they can be accomplished at my own speed. However, over the years, this technique has not proved to be helpful. My prayers recently have been asking for patience as my husband and I continue on our baby journey.

My husband and I are in our second month of trying for our baby, but years in planning/discussions. I feel myself wanting to rush forward and be in the second trimester, or even post birth, but I am trying to stay present and appreciate the journey. I have to admit that it has been incredibly difficult. 

Due to my anxiety disorder, There have been so many fears about whether or not i can even get pregnant. I have found that I constantly ruminate on this fear. I even had a dream last night that my uterus was “closed”. Whatever that meant! Ahh!

I am continually working on staying in prayer and remembering that God has a plan. I do not want my anxiety or ADHD to ruin the journey that my husband and I are embarking on. I want to soak in every moment. 

12 thoughts on “It can be hard

  1. I’m working on this too!! My patience is so crappy lately. It’s like I want instant gratification or I want next month or next year, or the next house. I have to slow myself down everyday or I’d rush through everything. I want to make that my goal in 2016, patience. Good luck to you and your husband!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The dream about the closed uterus reminds me of the women who tried to have kids in the old testament and failed until eventually God blessed them and they conceived. I’m not saying it’s connected to you at all, but I think that’s where the words about a “closed womb” might come in. I’m sorry for your difficulty and I’ll say a prayer for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I understand how you feel. Have any GYNs confirmed your fears that you are infertile? If not, try to remember that we create what we fear. More than praying for a child, pray to release your fears. Give it to God and trust that the Lord knows best! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I third the journal idea. I have a friend right now who is struggling with getting pregnant. I bought her a journal and she said she loves it. At times it can be painful to write about what is going on and how it feels, but at the end of the story you can look back and see how God was working from start to finish. One day as you rock a small bundle of joy to sleep you can look back and remember, “For this child I prayed.” Praying for you as well and hope all the best for you and your hubby.

    Liked by 1 person

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