A New Anxiety

Since I have been pregnant, I have not experienced any of my normal anxiety symptoms. However, upon deeper self reflection, and some conversations with family, I have realized that my anxiety has shifted into constant thoughts of vomiting.

Let me say here that before I got pregnant, I always had an extreme hatred of throwing up. I had a slight anxiety of getting sick in public, although I’m not sure why, because it has never happened.

Fast forward nearly 5 months, and I have been throwing up A LOT! Morning sickness does not just occur during the morning. As a result of this sickness, I have begun to have ruminations about getting sick in public or when out to eat, since I have gotten sick several times while eating at home. I have noticed that I spend A LOT of my day thinking and fearing getting sick outside of my home. I have several trips over the next few weeks (vacation and work trainings) and for the last several weeks I have been stressed out about them. I am afraid to drive in the car, eat at a restaurant, stay in a hotel, and the list goes on. These constant thoughts cycle around in my head any time I have a quiet moment.

God brought to my attention that these constant ruminations were stealing my peace and joy. I have been avoiding socializing or traveling because of the fear of getting/feeling sick. I have desperately wanted to enjoy being pregnant but these thoughts have been getting in my way.

So, today I decided that I am going to renew my mind. I spent a lot of the morning in prayer and began to combat the thoughts that have been taking over. Every time I had a thought about feeling or getting sick, I would say “No, I am fine” or “So what, there is a trashcan over there”. I kept saying positive things to myself instead of negative. I am beginning to feel my mind lighten slightly and the idea of travel doesn’t seem so scary.

With my anxiety, in the past, I have been in a place where I didn’t want to leave the house, and I promised myself I would never get there again. I will not allow these thoughts to control me, or take away the joy of this pregnancy any longer. God has given me this child, and yes I may be getting sick at times, but I will no longer allow that to keep me from experiencing peace. I am taking back control of my mind.

9 thoughts on “A New Anxiety

  1. Of course I can’t relate to being pregnant but can totally relate to anxiety as that is part of my diagnosis and struggle .so good to read you spent a lot of time in prayer this morning! My awesome therapist worked with me to ” be” in the present moment which is a challenge for me. That process begins with stopping what you are doing (when anxiety begins ) and simply focus on your breathing for a minute or so. We can only truly focus on one thing at a time. Then, talk with God! Ask Him to help you through His Holy Spirit to be “present” as anxiety is generally, at least for me, future focused. Praying for you!

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  2. I hope your morning (hah) sickness lets up soon! In the meantime, that is exactly the way to combat the anxiety. That’s how I talked myself into going to work for several months when the anxiety was really bad.
    *hugs*

    Like

  3. First, congrats mommy šŸ™‚ Second, so good to hear you are doing well with your anxiety. You sharing this will help many. The techniques you adopted are universal and by you applying towards anxiety shows how very capable we all are, no matter human experience, of being active participants and co-creators of our lives. Big warm hug to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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