Rough Day All Around

I feel incredibly guilty writing this post, but I feel I need to write it. When I began my blog, I intended to remain unfiltered about my emotions and anxiety, no matter how difficult to talk about. So, I feel I must write this post. 

I hate pregnancy. There has not been any part of it that has agreed with me, and I am really struggling with it today. I feel so guilty about feeling this way, because I thought it was such a magical experience. I knew that morning sickness would happened, but I didn’t think it would last so long for me. I hadn’t expected constantly feeling sick. I didn’t expect hating food and no longer enjoying eating. I can only have a few bites of something, and normally that involves gagging it down. I didn’t expect the mere idea or thought of food to cause my stomach to tie up in knots. I also didn’t expect to dread going to parties or hanging out with my friends because it always involves food. 

I feel so tired of being sick. I desperately want to enjoy being pregnant and watching my belly grow with my darling child inside of me. 

Please don’t think that I don’t love my child, and that I am truly grateful beyond measure to be blessed with fertility. I have experienced a previous miscarriage so I understand the miracle that occurred inside of me. I know that once I see my baby girl all this sickness  will be just a memory.

 But what I’m struggling with is trying to get to that point. My mind feels so conflicted with defeat from the sickness, but I don’t want to be consumed by it because I desperately want to enjoy this experience. 

I know that my anxiety disorder makes this harder because I find myself ruminating about getting sick, and that does not help me feel better. I am working to combat these thoughts, but I feel so drained. 

I feel so alone and defeated today. I wish that my body responded well to the pregnancy and I could just breeze through the next four months.  However No matter how hard it gets, I know that God is with me. I may not feel like it sometimes, but I know he is there. I am going to need to work extra hard to trust Him and allow Him to do His work. 

Thank you for listening to me vent. ❤️

14 thoughts on “Rough Day All Around

  1. I had a good friend that felt the exact same way that you did. She was sick for the majority of her pregnancy. She forgot everything once that child was born. Really praying your sickness stops and you can actually enjoy being pregnant for awhile.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. With my first daughter, I was 15 when i became pregnant. It was foreign and weird and I don’t remember ‘enjoying’ being pregnant, or disliking it. I was numb for most of it. I was 20 when I became pregnant with my second daughter. I thought it was going to be a beautiful experience … instead I spent nearly 7 months hanging over the toilet bowl! and the following 2 months making up for the previous 7 months 🙂 I ate enough brownies to feed a small country! my point?? umm …. I don’t thinks theres a right or wrong reaction to pregnancy … but once they’re born … well a whole new delightful hell starts 😉 .. . I hope you’re feeling better soon … and you get to eat whatever you want 🙂 xo

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  3. I get it. I have also had a loss, but I still don’t enjoy pregnancy and I think anxiety about another loss doesn’t help. I also hate feeling sick. With my second son the nausea finally went away around 24 weeks. Hang in there, it will be so worth it in the end!

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  4. The process of being pregnant has all kinds of discomforts and unpleasantnesses – just like any process 🙂 I find life is much easier if I can persuade myself to let go of preconceptions about how it “should” be, but sometimes that is hard.
    Trust me, you’re not a terrible person because you’re not greeting every bout of sickness with squeaks of glee! ❤


  5. I didn’t enjoy pregnancy either- yet knew that each of my4 kids was SO worth it. I LOVE having a child/baby. God has made everyone different- and He understands us right where we are at in life! Best of luck and hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I dont think it’s a problem to feel like this. It’s reflecting your physical condition and not the pregnancy. Unfortunately not everyone has the pink, candyfloss like dream pregnancy so it’s totally normal to feel crap but I think once you have the baby you’ll forget about it


  7. I was not a fan of being pregnant. I was sick, I have body issues….the only fun part was feeling the baby move. My kids are 16 and 18 now and are FABULOUS. This has zero correlation to you as a mom, I promise. Wanting that kid OUT is perfectly normal!


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