Over the past two weeks, things have been pretty difficult emotionally – anxiety in particular. It’s been all over the map. Things all feel calm and zen, when suddenly, it spikes sky high.
Having dealt with anxiety for so many years, I understand its cycle, and that i have gotten to a place where it will eventually pass. However… I just wish it would never come back. Can’t we cure it? Balance the hormones and serotonin in my brain so I can be a zero out of ten for the rest of my life?
Work seems to be a huge place of anxiety for me right now. Many of my close friends work with me, and there is turmoil within the various relationships – ladies not getting along and boundaries being crossed – and it is making it really difficult. I love my job so much, but tension is so high that I don’t even want to go to work. It sucks! Since I have friendships with the women outside of work , it gets carried into my personal life. It’s a mess! And my anxiety hasn’t been this high in a while. It’s awful.
Luckily, my husband is our assistant principal, so he is a huge anchor for me. He knows about all the drama, and he has been so encouraging to me. Reminds me to focus on the kids, and do my best. God will take care of the rest. I feel so lucky to have him.
I know all of this will eventually work out. Tension will lessen and it will resolve itself somehow. My anxiety will weaken again, and let me rest. I have been working hard to focus on God and turn my thoughts to the positive.