I live just over an hour from Las Vegas. I visit the city frequently. Since I live in a small town in Arizona, my family and I go there to shop and get away. I have spent many nights in the city. All of them filled with great memories. Except for today.
Luckily, we were not in town today, but we will be tomorrow to fly to Ohio. In fact, we were planning on staying at Mandalay Bay, which is our favorite place to stay. It is horrifying to think that if our plans had just changed by a day or two, we would have been there. I feel sick inside.
All I can do is pray. For the victims. Families of the victims. For our country. For our souls. There is so much hatred right now. So much hurt. We need healing. We need to come together. We need Christ.
I love October
The air smells like cinnamon
God gave me an incredible gift that helps keep my anxiety at bay. That gift is my beautiful daughter. Since she has been born I have been able to fight better against my own thoughts and anxieties. She reminds me of the miracles God has done in my life. She, herself, is a miracle.
If you haven’t read my blog before, here is a quick rundown of her birth story. She was born 10 weeks early due to my development of severe preeclampsia. She stayed in the NICU for 50 days, and is completely perfect and wonderful! We just had a developmental check this past weekend, and she has caught up in her gross motor skills, and is slightly advanced in her play and language skills!
The experience of her early birth was terrifying, but I had a peace inside of me. A peace that told me God was taking care of everything. Even when it seemed like He wasn’t there, I knew in my heart that He was. During those turbulent days, I had ZERO anxiety! Every time I look at her I see God’s Hand, and my anxiety is erased.
Thank you God, for my perfect baby. I love being a mother to her!
Through this verse, I am reminded that being anxious isn’t going to help anything. I can ruminate about the same thing all day long, but it won’t change anything.
Redirecting my thoughts to God, has allowed me to reduce anxiety, and start to live my life with more joy! Remember this verse today!
No matter the depth of the metaphorical water, God is there with you. You are never alone. Even when it feels like you are.
These are words I must remember to make it through my anxiety. I am not alone.
Here is to Day Two of bible quotes to read when experiencing anxiety. Today’s verse is actually difficult for me. It says “Don’t worry about anything .” Anything?! Sometimes that doesn’t even seem possible.
Now, I want to be clear. Anxiety disorders (which I have) are completely different than regular worrying and stress. Those of us who suffer from the disorder have limited control over when or how the anxiety will manifest. It is not possible to ever go without anxiety. HOWEVER! It IS possible to control our response to anxiety. We can choose to live through it. To push forward, even when it seems hopeless. And it’s ok to have days when you feel like you’re losing. In fact, you will have those days. Just remember that on the other side of pain, is peace. God will bring you through.
Cling tighter to him in those dark moments. He knows the pain. He knows everything about your anxiety.
So, for those of us with disorders, who experience frequent anxiety, the way we live out “don’t worry about anything” is by running to God and redirecting our thoughts to Him in combat. Remember you won’t always feel this way. It will get better.
I am fighting back at my anxiety. It can’t keep winning. My stress at work and with my friends has been very high, I can’t let it get any higher. Anxiety will not take anymore of my life. I have a daughter now, and she deserves 100% of her mom, and I will make that happen.
To combat the anxiety, I am going to post a bible verse each day for the rest of the month, to fill my mind and heart with God.
This reminds me that no matter what, God will be at my side. Even when it feels like he isn’t there, He is. He carries me when I am weak. What an amazing God we have!
Things are pretty rough right now. My anxiety is taking over. It is consuming me.
It is so hard to fight sometimes, but I know I can’t give up. However, right now, it feels like I will never be able to win.
My daughter and husband are the only ones I feel like I can rely on right now. I know they love me as I am.
Right now I feel as if most of the friendships I have had are failing. I have a lot of negative energy coming my way. I feel like I can’t do anything right and my friends are over me.
I feel like I’m drowning. I wish I didn’t have anxiety. I wish I could have peace without trying so hard. Things had been so good, but the last month, two months, have slowly been getting worse.
I am just overwhelmed.
Having an anxiety disorder is difficult. Sprinkle on being a MOM with an anxiety disorder; well that’s an entirely new story! I have been working to navigate my anxiety since my beautiful daughter was born 8 months ago. It has been under control, for the most part, but there are times when it isn’t. Those are the rough times. Extra so now that I have Eisley.
There are SO many things to worrry about as a parent! I had no idea! Pretty much everything is a hazard. Yesterday I gave her some remnants of the peanut I had eaten off my finger, and afterwards I was terrified she was going to have an allergic reaction! (She didn’t by the way. She was fine!)
I try not to think about what could go wrong, or what could hurt her, too much. But it’s hard not to. When I find myself lost in panic, I turn my thoughts into prayers, and do my best to let God take it. Easier said than done, but it is a work in progress.
As of now, my anxiety is low and I have been soaking up the joy of the weekend. It is monsoon season here in Arizona, and it rained all day! It was amazing!
I am working on living in the moment with my husband and daughter, and I am treasuring the blessings they both bring me each day. Even though anxiety sucks, I refuse to let it steal anymore time from me! I will carry on in spite of it! God gives me the strength to defeat it!