When Anxiety is in the Room

It steals away moments of happiness

And replaces it with gloom.

The sunshine seems so much darker

When anxiety is in the room.

We cannot let it control

And fill our hearts with doom.

We must preserve

Until joy starts to bloom.

Surrender to the moment

Currently, I am lounging outside on my hammock admiring my beautiful back yard as my adoring husband tinkers around, and my daughter enjoys her toys. My heart swells with such love in this moment. This ordinary, precious moment.

Sometimes, my anxiety is too high to allow me to see these moments, but today it is pushed aside. I am surrendering to joy. To happiness.

It’s much easier said than done, but I vow to continue working at it until it is easy. Anxiety won’t steal anything else away from me. God has given me such a beautiful life, and I plan to enjoy it!

Hit Hard

Last night something triggered my anxiety (not sure what) but it was raging out of control. I felt like I was no longer in control of my thoughts, and they were leading down a dark path. I have always found it difficult to combat anxiety at night, because nighttime means quiet. There is nothing to distract me when I feel the strong grip of anxiety start to take hold, and that’s exactly what happened last night. I lost control.

My husband woke up in the middle of the night and I told him about my struggle, and he was able to comfort me, but not free me from it. I was finally able to fall asleep, but anxiety followed me into the morning.

I spent a lot of the morning in prayer as I went about my daily routine. I felt weak mentally, so I knew the only way I could win was through funneling my thoughts towards God. Things finally began to turn around when I heard a song on the radio talking about in our dark times, we need God. In that moment, I was reminded that I am not the only one in this battle. I am not the only person who has dark moments. I felt myself begin to take back control, and slowly, peace replaced anxiety.

I felt I learned that when I am hit hardest with anxiety, I tend to isolate myself. I feel like I’m the only person who has dark moments. But I am not! If you ever feel this way, know that I am there with you! We are all in this together! I believe that Satan wants us to feel isolated, because alone we are weak. But together we are strong!

Anxiety is a difficult beast to understand, but bringing it into the light, helps lessen its grip! Bring yours into the light. You can win, just as I did today!

Weekly progress

This week my anxiety has been a little higher than normal. This is mostly related to my “monthly visitor” but, regardless, I have had a difficult time managing it. Most of my frustration was put on my husband, which is completely unfair. He is an incredible man, and doesn’t deserve to be the barer of my anxiety. He was very understanding, even though he did call me out on it (which is why I love him).

I found I was also anxious about my daughter growing up too fast! She is only 15 months, but since she has been walking she seems to have blossomed into an adorable little toddler. What the heck? It is overwhelming sometimes to think about how fast time goes, and I don’t want to loose these precious little moments with her now. I know I am overreacting a little, but it’s honest. I want to keep her safe from the world forever, and always cuddle her at bedtime.

To help my anxiety, I have been spending more time in the Word and in prayer. This has helped immensely. After my time with God, I have felt lighter and less anxious. I Am going to work on continuing to draw close to God when I am anxious, and not take it out on those I love the most! ❤️

Choose your reaction

Today when you are experiencing a moment in your day that isn’t going according to plan, choose your reaction. Don’t allow anger or frustration, or sadness to win. Take a moment and choose to be at peace. Say, “Ok, God, this isn’t what I expected, but I will trust that it will be ok.” How much better will our day become if we treat all of our unexpected circumstances in this way?

This is my challenge to you. And myself.

No Complaining!

Today I am going to focus on all the wonderful things I have in my life. Nothing bad. Nothing negative. My focus is on the good. I want to instill this mindset on my students! I hear so many of them talking poorly about themselves and their lives. Yes there are students who have horrible lives and they have a right to complain, but I want to teach them to find the good in the world!

People Can Give Anxiety!

I love being a social person, but when you mix my extrovert tendencies with my anxiety, you get a bad reaction! People are always going to  have conflicts, big and small, and when you have anxiety being involved in conflict can be overwhelming. This has been happening to me over the last few weeks, and it has caused my anxiety to really spike. Several of my friends have recently had a falling out, and just being around the situation has been horrible.

Even though I am not directly involved, it’s hard to be friends with people who are mad at each other. I constantly find myself wondering if they are thinking whose side I am on and then I create scenes in my head of complete drama, which just makes everything worse.

I wish that I didn’t have an overly critical mind and I could just let things go. I could just be confident and not be bothered by the thoughts and actions of those around me. Unfortunately, that is not how I was created.

I am trying my best to continually stay in prayer to redirect my anxious thoughts and allow God to lead me to a place of peace. It is so strange that I am still dealing with these times of situations in my 30s, but such is life. All I can do is work on staying focused on God and positivity.

Why do I worry?

Why do I worry what people think?

There is nothing I can do to change it.

Why does my mind go in circles?

I just relieve the same moment.

Why can’t I be confident all the time?

I need to trust myself and be strong.

It’s time I let it all go.

Give to God what I cannot control.

I cannot take up space in my mind.

I give it all to God.