Anxiety over Family

I am feeling overwhelmed with my anxiety today, and it sucks. Through third hand information, today I heard that my mother-in-law has been having a hard time watching my baby while I have been at work. She has been crying out of frustration over it. Now, for a bit of backstory, my MIL has been running daycare out of her home for many years, and she just started watching my daughter on May 1 when I went back to work. My daughter was born 10 weeks early, and it has been a huge deal that she is finally able to go to “daycare” with grandma. 

So, back to hearing about my MIL today. My nail tech, who is a good friend of mine, told me today that one of her clients grandchildren also go to my MIL for daycare. That woman had mentioned that my MIL had been crying about How colicky my daughter is and how hard it has been adjusting. I have known she has been having a hard time because she has cried to me about it as well. However it really took me by surprise to hear it second hand. I just didn’t expect her to tell other people about it. 

I understand the need to talk about it, but it honestly made me angry to hear that. I’m not sure why exactly, but I think it is because it is something negative about my child. I know my MIL loves my daughter, but it doesn’t hurt any less. 

This week my MIL has clearly been frustrated because every day I picked up my daughter she had nothing good to say about how the day went. My anxiety spiked because I dreaded going to pick her up and having to hear what went wrong. 

My MIL actually has an anxiety disorder as well, severe OCD along with others, but she doesn’t handle it very well so I think that is playing a part in her feeling so overwhelmed. I am trying my best to be understanding, but I am just feeling very hurt. 

When I am with my daughter I don’t feel she is an overly colicky baby. She cries like any baby when she is hungry or annoyed, but not all day long. I just don’t know how to handle my anxiety in this situation because I have never been in a situation like this before. I tried to talk to my husband about it, but that didn’t go over very well. 😒

I am going to put the situation in God’s hands and let him give me strength to get through it. 

Have any of you been in a situation like this? What did you do? 

A break from Anxiety

I have tried to not dwell on my anxiety about going back to work after my maternity leave, and just focus on my daughter these last few days. Just looking at her reminds me of how incredible God is. How far he has carried us over the last four months. I will get through going back to work. God gives me the strength to do it, even when I feel like I can’t. He is my strength. 

Anxiety will always be my battle, but it doesn’t always have to win. I choose to take back my mind. It cannot steal anymore time away from me. 

Raging Hormones with a touch of Anxiety

My hormones have been raging out of control today and they have been sprinkled with a touch of anxiety. I have had a lot of anxiety about becoming a mom. I haven’t had much anxiety since I got pregnant, and this has all seem to hit me all of a sudden. I’m not upset that I am pregnant but I am starting to freak out about what it is going to be like when the little bundle gets here. A part of me wants to hid under the covers and just cry for the rest of the day, and the other part of me wants March 1st (the due date) to hurry up and get there! What the heck!

I was already emotional, but this is intense!

What did you guys do when your hormones started to get the best of you?

 

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Shine Bright

My goal today is to be a beacon of positivity to all those around me. I do not want to add negativity to an already negative world. I want to be the bright light in a dark room. 

I think it is vitally important that we strive to bring happiness to those around us, even if it is just a smile. 

Today, challenge yourself to bring positivity to those you meet. 

11 weeks!

Wow! I don’t know how it has happened, but I am 11 weeks pregnant! Apparently, my baby is around the size of a lime! That seems huge to me, considering they just a few weeks ago it was a poppy seed! 

I actually found that today I had a lot of energy, and that hasn’t happened in weeks. I was able to get through work without crashing immediately when I got home. 

I am still throwing up in the mornings (boo), but my nausea doesn’t last all day anymore. I seem to finally be experiencing a little bit of relief. I am hoping and praying that it will end soon!

Oh! And I have ZERO anxiety! I haven’t had much at all since I got pregnant. I was really worried that it would get really bad, but it seems to have disappeared, and for that, I am thankful! 

Cheers to week 11 and ZERO anxiety! 

Savor the Beautiful

As a woman with anxiety, there are so many things in this world that cause me to be anxious, but I have learned to just savor the small moments. Any small thing that brings me relief and happiness, I count as a blessing. 

So many things are unknown in this life, but I have to learn to let it go. Trust that God will take care of me – no matter what happens. I’m not sure about the rest of you, but that can be really difficult. I like to be in control and know what is coming, but that is not real life. I am continually learning to trust God and find joy in the mist of chaos. 

How do you cope with your anxieties? 

Love beats Hate. Everytime.

There isn’t much to say about the horrific events that have occurred over the last several days that happened in Dallas, Louisiana, and Minnesota. There are no words. 

I feel helpless in this situation. Nothing that I can do as an individual will fix this situation, and I like to be able to fix things. However, I do know that if we come together, in love, then we can all make a difference. Love beats out hate, everytime! 

Allow Happiness In

Letting go of fears and anxieties is incredibly difficult. There are so many logical (and even illogical) reasons to hold on to those feelings, but there comes a point where we have to let them go. To allow happiness to fill you from the inside out. It is ok to be happy. It is ok to enjoy something good that comes your way. You may not think your deserve it, or that it could last, but just remember that you DO deserve happiness! You deserve every ounce of joy and it is ok to soak it up. You don’t have to live your life afraid of anything good that comes your way. That is no way to live your life.

Let happiness in. Bask in the bright parts of life. Don’t let anxiety and fear get in your way. Push past them and remember that you are amazing and you deserve it.

As if we were never apart 

Even though my mom, dad, and brother live in Ohio and I live in Arizona, it never feels like we are that far apart when we get back together. When we are together we just pick up where we left off! Tonight, around the campfire, we shared which family vacation we liked best as children, but it was so hard to choose because there were so many! As we each shared, we all laughed at the shared memories and we realized how thankful we are for being so close. My husband enjoyed hearing the stories and being apart of tight little group. I love my family. 


Push Yourself

Push yourself! I learned this today when decided to hike a few hundred feet up the side of a mountain today! I have had a huge fear of heights ever since I was a kid, and I never was a huge hiker either. So when my husband suggested that we hike up the mountain today, I wasn’t sure. A part of me wanted to push myself past my boundaries, and the other part of me was screaming “NO!” However, I went with the boundary pushing part of myself, and I am so glad I did! We literally crawled, scooted, and climbed ourselves to the top! By the time we reached the top, I was exhausted but I was so grateful that I did it!

I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was, and it is incredibly cool to learn! I love that I have the courage now I go beyond my limits and find out what I am made of! 🙂