Today I am going to focus on all the wonderful things I have in my life. Nothing bad. Nothing negative. My focus is on the good. I want to instill this mindset on my students! I hear so many of them talking poorly about themselves and their lives. Yes there are students who have horrible lives and they have a right to complain, but I want to teach them to find the good in the world!
I love being a social person, but when you mix my extrovert tendencies with my anxiety, you get a bad reaction! People are always going to have conflicts, big and small, and when you have anxiety being involved in conflict can be overwhelming. This has been happening to me over the last few weeks, and it has caused my anxiety to really spike. Several of my friends have recently had a falling out, and just being around the situation has been horrible.
Even though I am not directly involved, it’s hard to be friends with people who are mad at each other. I constantly find myself wondering if they are thinking whose side I am on and then I create scenes in my head of complete drama, which just makes everything worse.
I wish that I didn’t have an overly critical mind and I could just let things go. I could just be confident and not be bothered by the thoughts and actions of those around me. Unfortunately, that is not how I was created.
I am trying my best to continually stay in prayer to redirect my anxious thoughts and allow God to lead me to a place of peace. It is so strange that I am still dealing with these times of situations in my 30s, but such is life. All I can do is work on staying focused on God and positivity.
It is a challenge to really consider what you are thinking about. To self-reflect on the constant influx of thoughts, and sort out the good from the bad. The negative from the positive. However, this nearly insurmountable task is vital to our emotional health! After all, we are what we think. If you want to be positive, you must allow only positive thoughts to occupy the foreground of your mind. If a negative thought ever pops up, you need to push it away. Fight back with a counter-thought. Something positive. Keep fighting! Never give up! We were created to live for so much more than what we allow ourselves to become. Choose positivity. Retrain your mind and find the good.
Here is to Day Two of bible quotes to read when experiencing anxiety. Today’s verse is actually difficult for me. It says “Don’t worry about anything .” Anything?! Sometimes that doesn’t even seem possible.
Now, I want to be clear. Anxiety disorders (which I have) are completely different than regular worrying and stress. Those of us who suffer from the disorder have limited control over when or how the anxiety will manifest. It is not possible to ever go without anxiety. HOWEVER! It IS possible to control our response to anxiety. We can choose to live through it. To push forward, even when it seems hopeless. And it’s ok to have days when you feel like you’re losing. In fact, you will have those days. Just remember that on the other side of pain, is peace. God will bring you through.
Cling tighter to him in those dark moments. He knows the pain. He knows everything about your anxiety.
So, for those of us with disorders, who experience frequent anxiety, the way we live out “don’t worry about anything” is by running to God and redirecting our thoughts to Him in combat. Remember you won’t always feel this way. It will get better.
I am fighting back at my anxiety. It can’t keep winning. My stress at work and with my friends has been very high, I can’t let it get any higher. Anxiety will not take anymore of my life. I have a daughter now, and she deserves 100% of her mom, and I will make that happen.
To combat the anxiety, I am going to post a bible verse each day for the rest of the month, to fill my mind and heart with God.
This reminds me that no matter what, God will be at my side. Even when it feels like he isn’t there, He is. He carries me when I am weak. What an amazing God we have!
Having an anxiety disorder is difficult. Sprinkle on being a MOM with an anxiety disorder; well that’s an entirely new story! I have been working to navigate my anxiety since my beautiful daughter was born 8 months ago. It has been under control, for the most part, but there are times when it isn’t. Those are the rough times. Extra so now that I have Eisley.
There are SO many things to worrry about as a parent! I had no idea! Pretty much everything is a hazard. Yesterday I gave her some remnants of the peanut I had eaten off my finger, and afterwards I was terrified she was going to have an allergic reaction! (She didn’t by the way. She was fine!)
I try not to think about what could go wrong, or what could hurt her, too much. But it’s hard not to. When I find myself lost in panic, I turn my thoughts into prayers, and do my best to let God take it. Easier said than done, but it is a work in progress.
As of now, my anxiety is low and I have been soaking up the joy of the weekend. It is monsoon season here in Arizona, and it rained all day! It was amazing!
I am working on living in the moment with my husband and daughter, and I am treasuring the blessings they both bring me each day. Even though anxiety sucks, I refuse to let it steal anymore time from me! I will carry on in spite of it! God gives me the strength to defeat it!
It has been way too long since I have been on WordPress! So many things have been going on since my last post! School (work) has started up again and I have hit the ground running! My students this year are great, so far, and I am loving this year. I feel like I am more prepared with my lessons, and since I was so sick last year, while I was pregnant, this year I am feeling so much more energetic! I am really looking forward to seeing what this school year brings.
My daughter is doing really well! If you haven’t read any of my previous posts, my daughter was born in December, at 30 weeks. We spent 50 days in the NICU and we have been home since the end of February. The doctor said that she will not experience any long term effects of her prematurity! YAY! The only thing we are working on right now is trying to bulk her up! She weighs 12 pounds 3 ounces now, which is huge compared to her 2 pounds 14 ounces. She is such an incredible little human being! Last week she started rolling over from her back to her tummy! YAY! I am so proud of her and how she has come over the last few months.
My anxiety has been been under control over the last few months, and I am so thankful. I still have days where it feels so heavy, and uncomfortable, but I am able through it. My husband has also been very supportive whenever my anxiety has shown up. He will remind me how strong I am, and let me know how it will pass.
Well, that is my life in a quick few paragraphs! I am going to try and commit to writing more often, because I totally miss you guys! Blogging is so therapeutic!