Ok, I realize July started yesterday, BUT I have decided to challenge myself to post every day this month! I haven’t been great about blogging since my daughter was born, but she is more independent now, and I have a little more freedom! Yay!
So here’s to a month of posts!! 🥂 I’m glad to be back!
I will be the first person to admit how hard it is to go after your dreams. Ever since I was a kid, I have wanted to write a book. However, every time I come up with a great idea and start writing, I inevitably reach a point where I don’t think it is good enough, and I quit. I think the story isn’t originally enough and no one will read it. I get writers block and I don’t push through. There are several excuses I use to just give up. I have a large folder on my computer desktop filled with half written stories and poems.
However, when we have a been given a passion, we must pursue it even when it gets hard. The hard part is the part that makes us grow In our talent, but in our character.
There are so many reasons to not go out and fulfill your dream, but why should we listen? Why should we comprise? We shouldn’t! We need to grab life by the horns and live our dreams.
Why is it that when I weigh myself, I suddenly feel completely and utterly defeated. I find myself sinking into the mentality that I am less of a woman if the number I see on the scale does not match what I perseve to be perfection. Why is it that I can stand on a scale for 30 seconds and my entire day can be ruined? Why do I allow that number define who I am as a woman?
I weighed myself today and was devastated by the number I saw staring back at me. I lost an entire evening with my husband to anxiety and anger because of some stupid number. How ridiculous is that?!
I wish I could elequently profess that the number means nothing to me, and curse the society that created a false sense of feminine perfection. But I can’t. Although, I know, and understand, in my rational mind that weight does not define someone’s worth, I have, nevertheless, fallen victim to our society’s brainwashing. I bashfully admit that I internally idolize movie stars for their perfect shapes and flawless glamour. I have found myself wishing I could look like them, because, you’re happy if you’re skinny. Right?
Even writing those words makes me cringe, but in the darkest recesses of my mind, perhaps it is what I think. Over the years, countless perfect bodies have been depicted on tv shows, movies, ads, and social media that my mind has come to expect this perfection out of myself, and when I have failed time and time again to atain it – I feel unworthy. I feel that my husband won’t love me as much. I won’t do as well at my job. My friends won’t want to hang out with me. No one will ever find me attractive.
These are thoughts that so many of us share, and it has to stop. We have to know that our worth is NOT measured by the number on the scale. We can and will be loved no matter what shape we are or how many rolls we have. We have to come together and build each other up. Tell someone they are beautiful today. Even better, look in the mirror and tell that to yourself. Look at every inch of yourself and say you are beautiful. Because You Are.
Today is my 1 year WordPress birthday! Thank you to everyone who has supported me this year as I have been going through the healing process with my anxiety disorder. I have come such a long way and WordPress has contributed to a huge part of my growth!
Here is my favorite drawing yet!
It feels so good to be drawing again! I just felt like I didn’t have time anymore, but I have actually be finding that it doesn’t take up too much time. When I am lost in my head space everything else disappears. My anxiety. My stress. My schedule. My concerns. It all disappears as the picture on my page comes to life. It is fantastic therapy! I have been finding that I am less anxious after I have been using my creativity, and that is huge progress! YAY!
Here is my latest little creation!
WOW! How can I be at 1500 followers! I truly appreciate your support and kindess as I have blogged about the journey I have been traveling over the last several months. Anxiety is a difficult disorder but I have been learning that it makes me strong! Facing my battle alone would have been terrifying, but being here on WordPress has given me a voice I never thought I could have!
THANK YOU!

Have you ever felt complex drained of all emotion, and you are left feeling utterly exhausted? Well, that is where I am right now. The past 24 hours have been very challenging emotionally. I had some drama, which I hate, at work, and it all left me very upset and ridiculously anxious. I must say the only thing that got me through the day was the support and love of my friends. They are incredible and wonderful, and there is not enough praise in their world for me to give them.
I think it is virtually impossible to fight anxiety alone. I also think it is difficult to go through any struggle on your own. Friends and family are so important to help ease our struggles and help us in our darkest days. Today was difficult but my friends were there for me and I was able to get through it! They loved me just as I am!
Do something kind today. Make a co-worker smile. Talk to a lonely student. Make a new friend. You never know how those small actions can turn someone’s heart and give them hope.
Have a fantastic Thursday!
Yesterday I posted about my struggle with coming to terms with my upcoming 30th birthday, and today I have been thinking a lot about all the wonderful comments I received from all of you, encouraging me to remain true to myself. I love who I am and I love the life I have built with my husband. Yes, I may be into childish type things, but as I have grown older I have been able to take those passions and tweek them to fit into the stage of life I am in. I am looking forward to this next chapter of my life and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me during this decade!
The Persistent Platypus 