Anxiety! You have nothing on me!

Anxiety! You have nothing on me!
You may follow me everywhere I go,
But I am the one who controls you!

There may be moments where your cold grip wrenches onto my chest,
But I can get rid of you!

I am no longer afraid of you.
Bring it!

I love Blogging

I try to make sure I thank all of you as often as I can because you have been so supportive as I have put forth the continual efforts to gain back the control anxiety has stolen from me. It has been 5 months since my last panic attack and I am feeling mentally and spiritually healthy!

Blogging has truly helped me heal. Just by surfing through WordPress, I have found many of you who are struggling with the same illness and are bravely facing it each and every day! You all have been so open and honest, and it has helped me realize I am not alone in my struggles. That I am not weird or crazy. I’m just a woman who happens to experience anxiety.

Thank you for all the love and support you guys send my way every day! I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Stay Positive

I always like to be reminded to think about what I’m thinking about. It is impossible to have a good day if all our thoughts are clouded with negativity.

Today, remember to pay attention to what thoughts you are dwelling on. Are they helping your on your path to a positive life, or are they putting up road blocks to keep you negative?

Have an AMAZING Saturday!

Standing up for myself

As a woman with anxiety, I am inherently a people pleaser. I find myself worried about making other happy to the extent that I worry about the people driving behind me and if they are annoyed with my driving. Having a pleasing personality often times mean being taken advantage of, or even bullied. I am often seen as the weakest link because of my caring personality. It can make going to work difficult at times because over the past four years in education many teachers have walked all over me because they know I work hard and they manipulate me to do their work and just take their attitude.

However, today I was resolved to make a stand. One of my fellow teachers is very negative and incredibly rude to other staff members, and me most of all! Strange since my husband is the vice principal, you think she would suck up to get on his good side! Anyways, she often talks over me, shoots down my ideas, and talks through my lessons when I am co-teaching. Today we had our team meeting she talked down to me and attempted to throw me under the bus but I stood up to her, in a professional manner that may have been laced with sarcasm, but it felt good! She didn’t say anything else and left without a word, which is highly unusual. I hope that she realized that I am not going to be pushed around anymore and I will not stand for it. I have to admit I was incredibly nervous and even shaking a little. However, I think I needed to do it so I could stop being the doormat. I am a strong woman and I deserve to be treated with respect because I have always treated her with respect.

There were times during the day when I felt anxious, and I am actually feeling a little anxiety as I am writing this, about what happened. I don’t like making anyone unhappy or uncomfortable. However, this can cause me to sacrifice my own comfort and happiness since I focus so much on making sure others needs are met. I hope making a stand is not going to ruin the treatment of my students in her class or the professionalism we must conduct while at work. The only reason I am there is to ensure my student receive the best possible education so they can create a strong future for themselves.

Have any of you been through something like this? And how did you handle it?

Understanding and acceptance

As sufferers of mental illness, isn’t understanding and acceptance what we crave? Our dream is to tell people about our illness and not be judged. Not be scoffed. Not be stigmatized. Well all want to be loved for who we are as a human being, NOT for our illness.

Find people who love you: the full package. Surround yourself with individuals who don’t intimidate you to be someone you are not. Find love and acceptance. Don’t settle for less. You deserve more.

An Honest Struggle

There are times in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. We either give up or we push onward. It is a difficult decision to make, and the stakes are high. When we pour ourselves into a career, relationship, hobby, or any dream we hold, we open our hearts in a way we never thought possible. Countless hours go into these pursuits, and in those moments of dedication and practice, frustration and roadblocks begin to work against us. In these moments we come face to face with our biggest fear. Failure.

It’s human nature to be afraid of failing. We all set out to be good, if not, great a something. We do not set out to try something new with the intention of failing. The idea that we will succeed drives us onward and ignites our passions. However, life is never easy. It is messy, and hard. It even seems that there are moments where there are more tears than smiles.

Personally, I am currently at this crossroad in my career. I love every moment that I spend in the classroom. My heart sings with joy when I am able to interact with my middle schoolers and show them that learning is fun. Learning is the reason for living! Each day we learn something we didn’t know and without learning we are stagnant. Teaching these lessons sets my soul on fire and I burn with passion! I love being a teacher. However, being a teacher comes with a plethora of outside interference. There are mounds of paper work, workplace politics, adult drama, and endless hoops to jump through. It seems that there are so many things thrown our way that we are distracted from the true reason why we became teachers in the first place. To teach. I find these extra add ons to be utterly frustrating and wearisome. I feel very beaten down by all that is going on and I am feeling low.

It is my crossroad. Do I continue to push onward to pursue my passion? Or do I give up because the distractions outside of the classroom are too much?

As I sit here and contemplate the choices, I find there is only one answer I can choose. And that is to carry on. My students need me, and I am fairly certain that I need them just as much as I need them. I cannot abandon them. They have taught me to push on when times get hard, and I want to do the same for them. I will not give up no matter how hard it becomes. They are my inspiration and I will be here for them no matter what.