I Made This!!

I can’t believe I made this beautiful baby girl (obviously with God’s help, OH and my husband! ) who just turned one!! She is incredible!

I just wanted to share this with you all! ❤️

Family Pulls Me Through

My heart fills with happiness.

Anxiety is chased away,

When we are together.

 

I thank God for this life.

Things use to be dark.

But God gave me strength,

To pull through.

 

Even though life throws curveballs

Those I love always stand by my side.

They give me strength when I’m weak.

They are my everything!

I’m a mom of a 1 Year old!

Whoa! My daughter turned 1 today! It’s really hard to believe that she was born 365 days ago. She was two and a half months early, and weighed only 2 pounds 14 ounces. She was so strong and made it out of the NICU in 10 days with ZERO complications! She is my beautiful Christmas miracle. This year has truly changed my life! I adore being a mom.

1 Year Anniversary of Diagnosis

Today marks the one year anniversary of when I was care-flighted to Phoenix, Arizona (4 hours away from home) due to severe preeclampsia. It was a terrifying day. I went into the hospital early in the morning on December 19, 2016 with a mild contractions. Since it was my first pregnancy, I hadn’t experienced contractions, so naturally I was scared. My husband and I left work early and we went into the ER, and once we got there we were sent to the OB triage.

I was immediately hooked up to an IV, and all kinds of monitors to keep an eye on my daughter. They told us that I was just dehydrated and I just needed to rest. They said I should be back to work by lunch. I remember thinking I was disappointed that I would have to go back to work! I had a cold so I wanted to go home and go back to sleep. Having a cold, and being pregnant at the same time is not the greatest feeling.

As time went on, I started to notice the blood pressure cuff was still on my arm and they were continually. I hadn’t thought much of it, but the nurse started asking questions about my blood pressure history. I have never had any issues, and I was starting to get the feeling that something was wrong. However, no one said anything yet, other than just to relax, which, suddenly, was difficult to do.

After nearly an hour of monitoring, the doctor comes in and says he is not happy with the numbers of my blood pressure (204/100something) and he had been on the phone with a doctor in Phoenix, and I was going to be flown out in 15 minutes!! My husband and I were in complete shock! I will always remember my husband, who is normally so brave and composed, crying in the corner of the room as the nursing staff came in and prepped me to be taken to the helicopter. I saw it land right outside the window, and I just felt cold fear. I had no idea what was going on.

I remember telling my husband to grab my journal before he left town so I could write about what was going on with the pregnancy. Even though I didn’t know what was going on, I knew it was all going to be apart of my daughter’s story, and I wanted to remember it.

The next thing I know, I am being stuffed into an incredibly tight helicopter and in the care of two technicians I had never seen before. They were very kind and helped me feel more comfortable. It took an hour and a half to fly to Phoenix, and it felt much longer. I couldn’t see very well out of the windows because the gurney I was on was far below the window. I just remember seeing blue sky, and the revolving shadow of the helicopter blades, which made me nauseous.

I spent the entire flight in prayer. I prayed for safety for my daughter. I prayed for calm nerves. I prayed for peace. I prayed for everything. I didn’t know how long I would be away from home, or even when I would see my husband. The only thing I knew was the God was with me, and He was in control – even though I felt completely out of control. I decided in that moment that I was going to trust Him to take care of me. And, I can happily say, He did.

My preeclampsia was too severe and they were unable to lower my blood pressure to a safe level, and my My daughter was born 4 days after I arrived in Phoenix at 30 weeks. She weighed 2 pounds 14 ounces and was absolutely perfect. I didn’t return back home until February 12, 2017! We spent 54 days in Phoenix in the hospital! It was along journey, but it made my family so much stronger. I thank God everyday for how wonderful my daughter is, and for keeping me safe. I know it could have been so much worse.

My Joy

When I look at you and see your smile,

My heart stops.

Your laugh brings joy to my heart!

Your tiny hand that grips my finger,

Holds my heart.

I can’t imagine my life without you.

To my Joy. My beautiful daughter. It’s hard to believe she is going to be 1 year old in two weeks! Slow down time!

Christmas Fun… in Vegas?!

Yes, I had good clean, wholesome family fun today in Las Vegas, NV! We live about two hours away from Las Vegas, and our small town doesn’t have many shopping opportunities, so we headed to Sin City to do some Christmas shopping. I love shopping in Malls during the holidays. Everything feels warm and cheery like being wrapped in a warm blanket while sipping hot chocolate. Well, with a more commercialized twist, of course.

This is my daughter’s 1st Christmas outside of the hospital and at home! She was born on Dec 23, 2016, ten weeks early, and she was only a day and a half old on Christmas, and weighed in at 2 pounds, 14 ounces. It was a scary time, even though she was healthy, and we are so thankful that we won’t have to spend our holiday in the NICU.

Naturally, since this is the first Christmas we get to go all out with gifts, we bought SOOOOO MUCH!! I can’t wait for her to open them!

It was such a great day!

One word.

Love. 

Fighting back

I am fighting back at my anxiety. It can’t keep winning. My stress at work and with my friends has been very high, I can’t let it get any higher. Anxiety will not take anymore of my life. I have a daughter now, and she deserves 100% of her mom, and I will make that happen.

To combat the anxiety, I am going to post a bible verse each day for the rest of the month, to fill my mind and heart with God.

This reminds me that no matter what, God will be at my side. Even when it feels like he isn’t there, He is. He carries me when I am weak. What an amazing God we have!

Baby Love

These little eyes stole my heart,

From them I will never part!

This little girl brings me great joy,

Now the rest of my life, I will completely enjoy!

 

 

Long time!!

It has been way too long since I have been on WordPress! So many things have been going on since my last post! School (work) has started up again and I have hit the ground running! My students this year are great, so far, and I am loving this year. I feel like I am more prepared with my lessons, and since I was so sick last year, while I was pregnant, this year I am feeling so much more energetic! I am really looking forward to seeing what this school year brings.

My daughter is doing really well! If you haven’t read any of my previous posts, my daughter was born in December, at 30 weeks. We spent 50 days in the NICU and we have been home since the end of February. The doctor said that she will not experience any long term effects of her prematurity! YAY! The only thing we are working on right now is trying to bulk her up! She weighs 12 pounds 3 ounces now, which is huge compared to her 2 pounds 14 ounces. She is such an incredible little human being! Last week she started rolling over from her back to her tummy! YAY! I am so proud of her and how she has come over the last few months.

My anxiety has been been under control over the last few months, and I am so thankful. I still have days where it feels so heavy, and uncomfortable, but I am able through it. My husband has also been very supportive whenever my anxiety has shown up. He will remind me how strong I am, and let me know how it will pass.

Well, that is my life in a quick few paragraphs! I am going to try and commit to writing more often, because I totally miss you guys! Blogging is so therapeutic!