Today, I experienced a little bit of anxiety. The most annoying part of the experience was that I didn’t know why I was anxious. That is the worst! It sucks when I can’t identify the cause, because I feel like I can’t actively work to make it better. However, I didn’t let it ruin my day. I snuggled my baby, worked out, got my nails done, had dinner with my husband, and watched Kong: Skull Island (which was pretty good!) I still have a touch of anxiety, about a 1 out of 10, but I did my best to push past it and not let it control me.
What are some ways you have pushed past your anxiety?
It has been 3 months since my darling daughter entered this world 2 and a half months early; weighing only 2 lbs 14 oz. These last three months have been a wild roller-coaster of constantly shifting emotions, but i know God has been in control the entire time. Eisley is healthy, and beautiful! She weighs 6 lbs 5 oz now and is feisty as ever! I love this girl so much!
As I posted yesterday, I have had ruminations and reoccurring thoughts about getting sick in public A LOT since I have gotten pregnant. To summarize yesterday’s post, these thoughts have slowly taken over my thought patterns and have been keeping me from doing much outside of work or home.
So today, my husband and I went to Las Vegas (about an hour from our home) to pick up my brother at the airport. Over the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of my thought energy on being nervous about the trip due to my frequent “morning” sickness. I didn’t want to get sick while on the road, or when I was trying to walk around the city. However, over the last few days, I have spent a lot of time in prayer working to renew my mind, break down these thoughts and replace them with positive ones. I no longer want to be controlled by my anxiety.
I am happy to report that I did not have any anxiety today on our trip! I am beyond thrilled and I am I immensely proud of myself for getting outside my pregnancy comfort zone! I had an amazing day!
Letting go of fears and anxieties is incredibly difficult. There are so many logical (and even illogical) reasons to hold on to those feelings, but there comes a point where we have to let them go. To allow happiness to fill you from the inside out. It is ok to be happy. It is ok to enjoy something good that comes your way. You may not think your deserve it, or that it could last, but just remember that you DO deserve happiness! You deserve every ounce of joy and it is ok to soak it up. You don’t have to live your life afraid of anything good that comes your way. That is no way to live your life.
Let happiness in. Bask in the bright parts of life. Don’t let anxiety and fear get in your way. Push past them and remember that you are amazing and you deserve it.
Today my husband and I set off on our road trip from Arizona to Colorado! It has been a long time since we have been on a vacation, and we are loving it! These past few months have been really difficult with our miscarriage, so it is blissful to be able to leave it all behind. I am truly looking forward to see what adventures await us this week!
Being patient can be difficult. I tend to be terrible at waiting for God’s timing- hints my ADHD- and instead I often rush things along so they can be accomplished at my own speed. However, over the years, this technique has not proved to be helpful. My prayers recently have been asking for patience as my husband and I continue on our baby journey.
My husband and I are in our second month of trying for our baby, but years in planning/discussions. I feel myself wanting to rush forward and be in the second trimester, or even post birth, but I am trying to stay present and appreciate the journey. I have to admit that it has been incredibly difficult.
Due to my anxiety disorder, There have been so many fears about whether or not i can even get pregnant. I have found that I constantly ruminate on this fear. I even had a dream last night that my uterus was “closed”. Whatever that meant! Ahh!
I am continually working on staying in prayer and remembering that God has a plan. I do not want my anxiety or ADHD to ruin the journey that my husband and I are embarking on. I want to soak in every moment.
I have notice that during the times when I am most stressed, I have neglected to spend time with myself. What I mean to say is, I am spending all of my energy on everyone else except myself. I, like many of you, don’t have much time to spare during the course of my day, but I have been trying to squeeze a few minutes in for myself at the end of each day this week. I have been doing yoga in the evenings, and get to bed a little earlier so I can loose myself in a good book.
Over the next few weeks I am going to continue to focus on putting more energy into myself so I am not so spent by the time I am needed to focus my energies on others.
For those of you who struggle with this same dilemma, how to you schedule time for yourself?
Today, during my bible study, I was reminded that we need to look behind our storm, and not allow Life’s circumstances to push us off track. There are always going to be external conflicts that will threaten our inner peace, and we must work hard to look past the conflicts and find happiness with what we have already received.
As an anxiety sufferer, I have found it incredibly prudent to protect what little inner peace I have on any given day. There are days when my anxiety is so high that I only have peace the size of a mustard seed. However, on those days I cling to that seed of peace and focus on my blessings. I have a wonderful husband. A loving family. A great job. Three snugly dogs. Whatever it may be, I think about that instead of my anxiety. I cannot, and will not, allow anxiety to take over my life again. I have been given an incredible life, and I want to always remember that.
We can work together and encourage one another to stay positive in dark times and find the joy in each moment. Don’t ever give up hope. Each day we have is a blessing.
Is my life perfect? Not by any stretch of the imagination. I have scrapes, scars and baggage that often slows me down. However, I have discovered that love covers all imperfections. God has given me and incredible family and they have been there during my darkest, and most anxious, days. They have watched me fight the battles of my mental disorders, and have never once left my side. I am loved because of my imperfection. Because I am not defined by the blemishes in my life, but by my heart. Anxiety has not defeated me because my heart is full of joy and peace in the face of my trials.
Purhaps we need to redefine what perfection is? God, and those who truly love us, don’t love us conditionally. They make a decision everyday to continue showering us with love no matter what we do. That sounds pretty perfect to me!