Taking Anxiety to the Dump

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just drive to the dump and drop off our emotions? Bury them under mounds of dirt and compact them deep down into the ground with giant trucks? Unfortunately we cannot throw our emotions into a giant put, but we can face them. We can tackle them head on and admit the truth of our struggles. It may seem scary, but in truth, if we buried our problems they only get worse. Once we expose our pain, we can begin the healing process. 

I was reminded of this when my husband and I went to the Landfill today and I was thinking how nice it would be to leave my anxiety with all the junk we left behind. 

Have a fantastic day and remember you are stronger than your pain! 

 

Strength is developed through trials

Right now, the struggle feels impossible,

And all you feel is pain.

But do not think to give up,

Because when it’s done, strength is what you gain. 

Nature at its finest

I adore the location of my house because I get to loose myself in the wonderment of nature. There is nothing but open desert, mountains and wildlife behind my house. It is gorgeous! This morning I went outside to enjoy some power yoga, while my husband did yard work. The dogs followed along with me and stretched! 

Tonight I went out again to take in the beauty of the sunset and reflect on how far I have come this year in my journey against anxiety. I know I will continue to struggle with this my entire life, but in these quiet moments I remember that I have God on my side. He gives me strength and has blessed me with an incredible family and loyal friends who stand by me no matter what. 

Remember not to loose hope and press onward towards peace and contentment. You can do it! 

  

Wonderful weekend Haiku

This weekend was great

Snuggling and laughing with

NO anxiety!

Let go of the burden

We have all been hurt by someone. We have all felt the heart crushing pain of the dissipation of trust. I know it is easy to hold on to that hurt and let it consume. Not to let go of it because it reminds us what happens when we open our hearts and let someone in. 

I am here to tell you that you do not have to carry that pain with you. You do not have to continue to build your walls thicker and thicker until no more feelings can penetrate you. You can let go. Forgive. When you have held onto resentment and anger for so long it is terrifying to let it go, but it is worth it. Anger is a heavy burden to carry. But you can choose to let it go. It will take time to forgive and be ride of those emotions and walls, but once you find yourself on the other side, you will feel brand new!

It is worth the fight

Living with anxiety can be a difficult task. Honestly, there are very dark days when we feel as if the world is falling apart. As if we can never feel tranquility or complete happiness. It can feel like we are in a large scale theater show were we must carry out the actions and say the right lines, yet we have no feeling behind them. We can feel trapped in an endless cycle of fear, panic and obsessions.

However, it does not last forever. Though anxiety cannot be cured, it can be trained. We can learn and transform ourselves into masters of our illness! It takes a lot of hard work but it pays off! The darkness does not have to win. First, we must admit that we have a problem and then we can find a path to follow on the road to wellness!

I never thought I could live happily with anxiety! I never thought I would be at peace with my anxiety. Finally, after 29 years of life, I am able to accept myself for who I am! 100%! Anxiety and all!

You can do the same!

A challenge for today

I challenge you today to do something positive for someone else. Take a moment to break outside of your normal routine and do something unexpected for someone. It may just be a small thing, but you never know how badly someone may need a positive uplift! Good luck and have a fantastic day. 🙂

Anxiety hasn’t visited me in awhile

I have realized that I have gone a long stretch of time without being bother by my pesky friend, anxiety! I had a mild bout with her about a week ago but nothing much before that and none since I have been on vacation at my parents house! It feels liberating to be able to go days, almost weeks without it! I am loving the freedom of living in the moment and absorbing the joy and emotions of the atmosphere. With my anxiety, I had no room for any other feeling. Now there is plenty of room to experience an array of emotions I haven’t felt in a long time!

Just in time for Christmas!

I love my mom!

This evening my family and I have been watching Christmas movies, after we had spent the day shopping! I have missed spending quality time with them and it just feels so good to be back here! I feel so blessed to have a close knit family and we continue the traditions we started when we were kids! For the past 29 years my parents have given us pjs on Christmas Eve so we could have nice pictures on Christmas morning. So, today mom and I bought those pjs for everyone so we could continue the tradition!

It is utterly surreal to be back home because it feels as if I have never left. The feelings of stress and worriedness have bee replaced with relaxation and contentment. I adore being with my family and am looking forward to the next few days with them! I hope they go by slowly!

My family accepts my anxiety!

Yesterday my father and mother spoke open and honestly with me about my anxiety and all that I have been learning about it. It was an amazing conversation because there was zero judgement or negativity. They were curious to learn about what I had discovered and hear all about my blog. My father even suggested that I can use my experiences with anxiety to write a book! (Great idea dad!)

It felt so good to be able to feel my anxiety was accepted by my parents. It’s a difficult subject to discuss and I’m sure they never wanted their daughter to struggle with the disorder. However, the last time they had seen me (in June) I was a complete mess. My anxiety had taken over and I was very sick. I could tell they were really worried about me because they had no idea it has gotten so bad, and it was easy to make it not seem like a big deal when we only get to talk through FaceTime. I don’t think I kept it from them on purpose, but I think deep down I was ashamed. I am learning, however, that it’s not my fault. It’s a chemical issue. Not a personal one. I think my parents are learning that too. It’s not a lack of good parenting, because they are incredible parents. They are learning, along side me, that anxiety is a chemical imbalance.

It felt amazing to be so healthy and be able to show them how much I have grown. They told me they could see a huge difference and they were so proud of me! It is wonderful that these walls have been broken down and we have bonded over something that was meant to destroy us! We are a strong family!

If you are debating telling your family about your mental illness, take the risk! I didn’t think it would be as easy as it was, and had I known they would be so accepting, I would have told them the extent of the problem years ago! I love love LOVE my family!