After these last two days with my students, I am feeling incredibly exhausted! However, in spite of my exhaustion, I am feeling completed fulfilled and refreshed. I feel accomplished and completely satisfied after being able to spend time with my students. I realize that I have a deep passion for teaching and building positive relationships with my kids. So many of my students come from a home that doesn’t provide them with love and respect, so I try to demonstrate those qualities while they are in my classroom. I feel so blessed to be able to be in a profession that aligns with my passion!
While my students were incredible over the last few day, my anxiety was a little off kilter. Since this is my first year in several years being back in a classroom of my own (since I was previously a special Ed co-teacher) I felt anxious about my ability to be successful on my own. It was very intense, since I am not use to teaching without a co-teacher, but I made it through. My anxiety was very high this morning because of a mix up in scheduling, however, I was able to come back down. It is wonderful to be able to control my anxiety instead of being control by it!
I am looking forward to next week and getting to know my students even more! I hope that my anxiety will be eased as I get further into the year and get use to being on my own.
In the moments when my anxiety has been heaviest, I have discovered that laughter helps me heal. Whether a students makes silly jokes, my husband tries to lighten my burdens, or my dogs are just weird; laughing makes it all seem less painful.
I have learned that laughing about my struggle with anxiety has truly made the disorder less powerful. Before, I use to keep it hidden in the darkness, but now I can bring it to light and view it with humor.
Remember to find moments to laugh! You won’t regret it!
Today is the big day! I take my social studies teacher test. I have been very stressed with all the studying and you all have been so supportive! I am feeling confident today! I will report back later and let you know how I did!
I found it sad today when I student told me that he didn’t need to learn anymore because he had already taken the test he needed to take. What message are we sending our kids by testing them so often? How are we providing them with the knowledge to help them become well rounded adults if our curriculum is only geared at what might appear on a state test? It is heartbreaking to think how these students, who I care about as if they were my own, are missing the point of learning. Learning is not something to be gained only so to pass a test! Learning is about feeding our deepest human yearning and following the path our curiosity sets before us. I hope that we teachers can find a way to fix this broken system and bring passion back to our classrooms.