Summer break is nearly over, and in preparation for the new school year I have been working in my classroom. I had some trainings for the classes I teach, which is through Cambridge University, and in between trainings, I was able to squeeze in some time to work on decorating my room! I will admit, that decorating for the beginning of the year is one of my FAVORITE parts of the entire year! I love doing it! I am very happy with how it turned out! Check it out!
Becoming a new parent has come with many new emotions I never expected to experience. Everything feels bigger. Deeper. More intense. These over the top emotions have completely taken me by surprise.
Right now, as I have written about a few times over the last few weeks, I am experiencing a high level of anxiety about going back to work. Not because I don’t enjoy my job, because I love my job, but because I am anxious about leaving my daughter all day. Right now I can hold her when she cries, play with her, snuggle, and give her huge kisses all day long. But when I go back, I won’t be able to do those things when I want. I love the routine we have together. It’s simple – just feeding, sleeping, diaper changing, and cuddling- but I adore it. I am just going to miss it all.
I know that part of my anxiety to leave her is because she is a preemie. She was born 10 weeks early, due to my severe preeclampsia, and spent 50 days in the NICU before she was able to come home. Despite all of the trauma she went through in those first 50 days, she is healthy and on target! She was healthy her entire stay in the NICU. She just needed time to grow.
We have been through so much together and have only spent 1 day apart in her four months of life. I am not sure how to deal with these emotions. I don’t want to be anxious about going back to a job that I love. I am actively working on changing my mindset, but I am having a difficult time.
Have any of you had similar situations about going back to work after a baby?
Today was rough for me. The stress of my new teaching position caught up with me and I ended up crying in my husband’s office (he is my assistant principal). I have just been feeling very overwhelmed and almost a little bit like I am drowning. This is my fourth year teaching but teaching two grade levels, with four different subjects, plus writing IEPS for my students in special educating, is quickly making me stressed and very anxious. It almost feels like my first year all over again, except without the classroom management issues I just want to be sure that I do my job well and help provide the best education I can for my students.
Today it all felt like too much and I began to doubt in my abilities to do the job. I needed to unload emotionally so I could move on with the day. I felt better after my husband’s encouragement and the rest of my day went well. I did, however, still have moments of anxiety when I began to realize how much I still had to do in preparation but I am going to work on taking it one day at a time.
Today was my first day with the students in my classes. I have two groups of kids: a 7th grade class and an 8th grade one. Both classes have wonderful students in them, and they were very positive today. Every student I talked with was excited to be there and looking forward to a new year that was full of learning. I love that they were so into the whole experience!
I had been experiencing some anxiety leading up to the day, just because I am never good with the unknown, and I feel nervous about starting fresh. However, in hindsight, I feel like I didn’t need to worry. I had everything planned and set up for when the students came in. Even during times when we finished assignments early, I was able to quickly move into another activity and the students went well with the changes. Once the day kicked off I didn’t have any anxiety. However, if you would have looked at my anxiety yesterday, it would have been off the charts! I am so glad that it is all gone now and things are looking positive! 🙂
I hope all of you had a good day, and if you didn’t I hope you remember never to give up and to keep pushing onward.
For the next few days I am going to be in a technology training that discusses ways to use technology in the classroom. I am very excited to learn about the new ways I can use technology in my life. I feel grateful that I have been able to find passion in my career and I love my job! Being a teacher can be utterly exhausting, but it is so incredibly rewarding. It is just so much to be spending time with kids and helping them learn things they have never been exposed to before.
I think it is important to find an outlet to express your passion, especially when you have anxiety or depression. When we are fighting a mental disorder it is important to get lost in an activity that we love! When we do something we love, we begin to feel better about ourselves. I know that whenever I am able to use my creativity, I feel accomplished and energized! Our passions drive our motivation!
What is your passion and how do you use it in your daily life?
After a long day of work, there is nothing I love more than loosing myself in a good book! That is precisely what I am about to do!
Sleep well everyone! Remember to stay positive and enjoy the beauty around you! No matter how small 🙂
Oh and great news! Anxiety free today!
As a teacher, I have many students in my classes who do not have supportive environments. I try my best to provide them with a classroom that they can all feel safe and valued in, because that may be the only place they experience that sort of care. Even though I have an anxiety disorder, it was caused by genetics, not an unloving home. I was spoiled rotten as a child, and continue to be treated as such by my husband. My heart goes out to all my students who crave love and have no where to find it.
When 3am came rolling around today, I found myself wide awake. I was filled with stress concerning all the things I had accomplish at work over the the next few days! I had to grade papers, write lesson plans, write sub plans, read essays, set up centers, write IEPs/FBAs, emails staff members, meet with students… Oh man, there was so much! My mind was racing and I could feel the anxiety rising up in my chest. It started to feel overwhelming! I couldn’t imagine relaxing, let alone going back to sleep because the only thought that filled my mind was, HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS!?
The hour rolled by and it was suddenly 4am. Then 4:30. At this time I was getting annoyed because I knew my alarm was going to go off in less than an hour, and I had barely had 5 hours of sleep (I personally prefer a solid 8). As I kept stressing out about time, the stress about my responsibilities began to worsen and I felt like I was stuck in an endless trap! My anxiety was rising and I wasn’t sure I could handle it…
Then suddenly, as my stress reached an all time high, I remembered something I had heard the other day. I heard we should be thankful even during our times of stress. Take our stress and turn it around to be praise. It seemed crazy to me, but instead of thinking “How am I going to do this?” I said, “Thank you, God, for helping me to do this in the future.” I began to thank God for his strength, and focus on the positive instead of the negative, and suddenly I felt lighter. I didn’t feel burdened down by the stress. I felt freed. I knew I would get it all done. And guess what, I did! YAY! God is good!
Try and turn your negative thoughts into positive ones, and see how things in your life start to change.
This week I have been relearning that it is vitally important to take time each day to focus solely on myself. It doesn’t have to be very long. Just a few minutes would suffice. And in those few moments, I felt refreshed! With all the stress from various places in my life, I have been feeling stretched too thin. Unfortunately, being stretched thin does not include my body. I’m still sitting at a size 12, and have nearly the same number of mini m&m bags, cake, ice cream and a king sized candy bar to add onto my hips after this week! I tend to emotionally eat, and goodness these past seven days have been emotional! Since I was so bogged down with work I hadn’t given taking time to myself much thought. However I happened to stumble across alone time completely on accident…
I was giddily looking forward to unwinding at home on the couch When I got home from work today, but I received a text from my husband reminding me to go over to our neighbor’s house and feed their chickens. Grudgingly, and with excessive mumbling, I pried myself out of the soft cushions of the couch, grabbed the dogs, and headed to the neighbor’s house.
After feeding the chickens, the dogs and I were on our way home to finally indulge in some over dramatic television, when I realized how beautiful it was outside. I noticed the pups seemed to be enjoying the weather just as much as I was, so we walked on past our house. We walked for about twenty minutes. We enjoyed watching the sun set behind the rugged mountain tops. The sky was lit up with brilliant pinks, purples and reds, and the calmness of the desert in the evening was intoxicating.
It felt so good to just be out there with only my thoughts and my pups. It was so peaceful and relaxing. All the stress from work melted away and I felt renewed.
I think we all need to consciously remember to think about ourselves every now and then. Many of us put ambition, service, or career above our own needs, and we just end up burning out. We are not much use to anyone if our bodies and mental state is unable to keep up with our ever increasing demands. Time must be put aside to ensure we care for ourself so we can be a blessing to those around us.
Happy Friday!
I am so tired
I can’t even move my legs
So now I must sleep
The Persistent Platypus 