Thank you for all your encouragement and words of wisdom about how I can overcome my writer’s block! It truly helps me refocus and stop being so hard on myself.
Tonight I had an incredible experience. I was fortunate enough to go out to dinner with an accomplished author, and she was able to share her story and provide me with valuable insight. She encouraged me to trust myself and my creative thought. Not to listen to the voice inside my head that says I’m not good enough, or my ideas are stupid. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my writing journey. She had been in my place, and so many others have been there before me. It’s not just me. She even said she would help me along the way. ❤️ My heart could have burst!
It felt as if God aligned this moment for me. Just as I was struggling with confidence in my writing ability, this incredible woman came to switch my mindset. As if God himself was encouraging me to go forward in good faith that he gave me a voice, and I can do it!
I just feel so invigorated! Like a burden was lifted and I can be free to express my creativity without judgment! It’s ok to let loose and trust in my own voice!
Today marks my 2 year wedding anniversary! It’s almost impossible to believe that it has been two years! I have no idea how that happened! These past 24 months have been wonderful! It hasn’t all be rainbows and butterflies, but it has been honest and real. Each struggle we have encountered, we have grown stronger and closer together!
Ever since I have become open to discussing my struggles with anxiety, people around me have been opening up as well. Several co-workers have told me they suffer from anxiety as well and has said they wish they had known before to help ease their feeling of isolation. We all somehow find each other throughout the day and check in to see how we are each holding up. It’s a pretty awesome thing to be apart of. I never imagined people would accept me as I am, anxiety and all. It truly blows my mind in the best possible way.
If you are feeling isolated and alone, take a risk and open up to someone you trust. It feels incredible to no longer be alone.
As a woman with anxiety, I am inherently a people pleaser. I find myself worried about making other happy to the extent that I worry about the people driving behind me and if they are annoyed with my driving. Having a pleasing personality often times mean being taken advantage of, or even bullied. I am often seen as the weakest link because of my caring personality. It can make going to work difficult at times because over the past four years in education many teachers have walked all over me because they know I work hard and they manipulate me to do their work and just take their attitude.
However, today I was resolved to make a stand. One of my fellow teachers is very negative and incredibly rude to other staff members, and me most of all! Strange since my husband is the vice principal, you think she would suck up to get on his good side! Anyways, she often talks over me, shoots down my ideas, and talks through my lessons when I am co-teaching. Today we had our team meeting she talked down to me and attempted to throw me under the bus but I stood up to her, in a professional manner that may have been laced with sarcasm, but it felt good! She didn’t say anything else and left without a word, which is highly unusual. I hope that she realized that I am not going to be pushed around anymore and I will not stand for it. I have to admit I was incredibly nervous and even shaking a little. However, I think I needed to do it so I could stop being the doormat. I am a strong woman and I deserve to be treated with respect because I have always treated her with respect.
There were times during the day when I felt anxious, and I am actually feeling a little anxiety as I am writing this, about what happened. I don’t like making anyone unhappy or uncomfortable. However, this can cause me to sacrifice my own comfort and happiness since I focus so much on making sure others needs are met. I hope making a stand is not going to ruin the treatment of my students in her class or the professionalism we must conduct while at work. The only reason I am there is to ensure my student receive the best possible education so they can create a strong future for themselves.
Have any of you been through something like this? And how did you handle it?
We all go through times in life when the darkness is all encompassing. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone has turned their back and we feel utterly alone and isolated. The good news is that There is always hope! Hope for a new beginning. Hope in finding happiness. Hope to bask in the light once again and feel peaceful to your core.
I was trapped in this thinking. I was lost to darkness and despair. I felt there was no way out of it and I would be trapped in sadness my whole life. However, my God and Savior reached out to me and gave me a new hope. He reminded me that I was strong and I could push through. Even though I was still followed by anxiety and fear, I pushed onward and never gave up. Now I am healing and I have days where I feel no anxiety. However I know it will always be apart of my life but My strength is supernaturally provided and I will motor on.
You don’t have to live in darkness. There is always hope. Don’t give up.