I made it through my meeting without panic or incident! It ended up being very laid back and comfortable! I talked a lot and was very involved. I am getting more and more excited about this coming year!
It was such a wonderful victory to be able to see how far I have come with coping with my anxiety over the last four years. It was wonderful that I made it through without a single flicker of anxiety!
Over this past year I have written a lot about the many years I spent fighting with myself, and God, about my anxiety. I hated it. Felt weakened by it, and was angry I had been “cursed” with such a burden. I was even more upset by the fact that He never took it away. I spent years trying to find out what I had done wrong and as a result my suffering felt endless.
However, this year I have finally realized that it is not a curse. It is a true blessing. A blessing that I never noticed until now. I am able to use it to help those around me who suffer from the same affliction. I have become more passionate. More loving. More understanding. And more thankful because of my anxiety. I feel that I have become a better me because of it. Anxiety is not who I am, but it will always be apart of who I am. It is something I have embraced because I must first love myself before I can truly love those around me.
I am not saying that anxiety is easy, because it is not. I have very painful days, but in those moments I try to remember that I will overcome. I am stronger. I am better. I have finally been able to embrace the strength that God has given me to overcome!
When we feel at our lowest, that is when we must push on. When there seems to be no hope; We MUST continue to move forward. Mental illness is tough, but we are tougher! We have to be able to take control of our illness and show it who is boss! It is time to take back control! We can do it together!