The Mountains Are My Sanctuary

This trip has been incredible! I started out with a mild amount of anxiety, and today, I have none! Being out in the woods and surrounded by nature, makes me feel at peace. I feel surrounded by God and his marvelous creation, and that makes me feel in awe. It feels wonderful to be anxiety free!

Today, the family and I are heading to Utah! We will be spending 4 days in Zion National Park, which we have never been too, before we head back home. I am looking forward to having more time experiencing nature and finding my peaceful balance.

Success!!

NO ANXIETY! NO ARGUING! NO BABY MELTDOWNS!! The first day of our road trip was a success! It was a great family experience for the three of us!

Today we reach Our Destination in Colorado, so we are ready for another day of adventure! Everything is packed and ready bright and early! We have a pit stop about half way through at my husband’s aunt’s ranch where my daughter will have a chance to run around and explore!

Prayers for safe travels and family bonding! I will keep you updated!

Hittin the Road!!

Today we are setting off on a two week road trip, and we couldn’t be more excited! We are taking two days to drive to Colorado, spending a week there, and then heading over to Utah (A state we have never been to!)

Sometimes the stress of everyday life builds up and you HAVE to get away- that is where we are at as a family. We need a break. A vacation!

This will be my daughter’s first road trip, and I did loads of research on how to entertain a one year old so we are “prepared”. Well, as prepared as you can be with a one year old. I will keep you updated along the way. 😉

My prayer request is that neither my husband or I struggle with anxiety during our time away. I have a little this morning, a 3 out of 10, but I have been spending time in prayer and it is slowing going down. I don’t want anxiety to steal any of our joy while we are bonding together as a family unit.

Adventure awaits! Here we go!

Be proud of You!

No matter who you are, be proud! Love who you are as a human being! We were all created to be different, so why do we all want to be like everyone else? Where is the beauty in conformity? Singularity? It’s monotonous!

I am proud of the quirky woman I have become. I’m not ashamed to admit that on Friday nights I would rather stay home and Netflix Binge than go out and party (granted I am 33 and have a 1 year old! Haha). I love YA books, cheesy romance, animals with big noses, the power of words, and watching thunderstorms. I am not ashamed.

However, I do admit that I continue to struggle with body image, as stated in earlier posts, and have for years. I am working on being happy with the body God gave me, and not compare myself to the “perfect” image of what a woman should be. It’s ok to be thick and proud!

Surrender to the moment

Currently, I am lounging outside on my hammock admiring my beautiful back yard as my adoring husband tinkers around, and my daughter enjoys her toys. My heart swells with such love in this moment. This ordinary, precious moment.

Sometimes, my anxiety is too high to allow me to see these moments, but today it is pushed aside. I am surrendering to joy. To happiness.

It’s much easier said than done, but I vow to continue working at it until it is easy. Anxiety won’t steal anything else away from me. God has given me such a beautiful life, and I plan to enjoy it!

Hit Hard

Last night something triggered my anxiety (not sure what) but it was raging out of control. I felt like I was no longer in control of my thoughts, and they were leading down a dark path. I have always found it difficult to combat anxiety at night, because nighttime means quiet. There is nothing to distract me when I feel the strong grip of anxiety start to take hold, and that’s exactly what happened last night. I lost control.

My husband woke up in the middle of the night and I told him about my struggle, and he was able to comfort me, but not free me from it. I was finally able to fall asleep, but anxiety followed me into the morning.

I spent a lot of the morning in prayer as I went about my daily routine. I felt weak mentally, so I knew the only way I could win was through funneling my thoughts towards God. Things finally began to turn around when I heard a song on the radio talking about in our dark times, we need God. In that moment, I was reminded that I am not the only one in this battle. I am not the only person who has dark moments. I felt myself begin to take back control, and slowly, peace replaced anxiety.

I felt I learned that when I am hit hardest with anxiety, I tend to isolate myself. I feel like I’m the only person who has dark moments. But I am not! If you ever feel this way, know that I am there with you! We are all in this together! I believe that Satan wants us to feel isolated, because alone we are weak. But together we are strong!

Anxiety is a difficult beast to understand, but bringing it into the light, helps lessen its grip! Bring yours into the light. You can win, just as I did today!

Nothing Better

It has been awhile since my last post, and I apologize! Things have been so crazy. Life certainly changes after having a child! I use to blog every night before bed. It was my favorite time of day! However, this habit has been replaced with giving a bubble bath, and getting warm cuddles before putting my beautiful daughter down for the night.

Recently, I have been reflecting on the changes I have experienced since Eisley came into the world. Just thinking about how my focus and energy output have realigned and how I am less self-focused than before.

Even though I am exhausted after work, I still make it a priority to sit on the ground and play with Eisley. I may be starving, but I make sure she has dinner before in eat my own. Instead of Netflix Binging I spend hours playing with toys and playing make believe.

Knowing now what sacrifices I would make as a mother, I wouldn’t change a thing! Yes, I do miss watching hours of television without being interrupted (or feeling guilty), and being able to eat a slice of pizza without being disturbed, BUT hearing my daughter laugh, and seeing her grow far outweighs those momentary pleasures. She is everything.

I never fully understood what parents meant when they said their child’s happiness means everything, but now I know. Those are not just words, they are powerful. My world has shifted to ensure that she has joy and love in her life. It’s no longer about me, and what I want. It is about her, and what she wants (without spoiling her too much, of course!)

I love being a mom!! It’s the greatest decision I have ever made. ❤️

Redfored movement in Arizona

Things have been pretty intense here in Arizona in regards to education! We just ended day two of our strike, and it feels amazing to be apart of something so monumental and historic. We want the best for our students, and right now they aren’t getting it. The educational funding in AZ is pathetic, and it’s awful because the kids are the ones who are loosing out. We are all standing together to ensure our kids get what they deserve!

Over the last few weeks I have been apart of two demonstrations, and each time I feel so full of energy. It’s exciting to rally and come together as a community. Most of the responses in town are positive. Whenever there is negativity, we make sure we respond positively because, in the end, we are setting examples for our students.

My daughter was even able to come to both rallies! Yay! I love that when she is older, she will be able to say she took part in this historical moment.

State Testing ComingUp

This week my students will begin taking their state test. It seems that the entire year leads up to these next two weeks, which is unfortunate, yet the way education works. There is A LOT of pressure on them to do well, and I am lifting them all up in prayer today. Keep them in your thoughts. They are amazing kids!

Weekly progress

This week my anxiety has been a little higher than normal. This is mostly related to my “monthly visitor” but, regardless, I have had a difficult time managing it. Most of my frustration was put on my husband, which is completely unfair. He is an incredible man, and doesn’t deserve to be the barer of my anxiety. He was very understanding, even though he did call me out on it (which is why I love him).

I found I was also anxious about my daughter growing up too fast! She is only 15 months, but since she has been walking she seems to have blossomed into an adorable little toddler. What the heck? It is overwhelming sometimes to think about how fast time goes, and I don’t want to loose these precious little moments with her now. I know I am overreacting a little, but it’s honest. I want to keep her safe from the world forever, and always cuddle her at bedtime.

To help my anxiety, I have been spending more time in the Word and in prayer. This has helped immensely. After my time with God, I have felt lighter and less anxious. I Am going to work on continuing to draw close to God when I am anxious, and not take it out on those I love the most! ❤️