This weekend was much needed! It started off with our school’s basketball team having a chance to play on the Phoenix Suns’ court and then being able to go see the game! It was a blast! My husband and I don’t normally go to many sporting events, but i think that is going to change! We loved it! Our daughter, who is one, did too! She was so good.
Then yesterday we took our daughter to an aquarium for the first time, and watching her see the ocean animals for the first time, was magical! I love being able to have the opportunity, and the means, to take her to different places to learn about the world around her.
Sometimes it is important to get away! We leave several hours outside of Phoenix, and it was time for us to go on a family adventure. Not only is it refreshing, but it was also good for our marriage! We can just have fun together as a family, instead of worrying about everything!
It has been amazing
Thank you to all of your kind words about my husband and I deciding to become foster parents. To be honest, it is all we can think and talk about! Not only are we excited to begin the process, but we are also nervous. We are still waiting to hear from an agency and while we have been waiting, we have been doing a lot of research and making a list of questions that we want to ask. We have also been talking to our families about our decision and they are all very supportive and on board. Now, we just wait!
Also, today has been amazing! My husband and I spent most of the afternoon cuddled on the couch and chatting about anything and everything! It was wonderful because we haven’t been able to slow down in several weeks. It was amazing!
I hope you all had a fantastic weekend so far and you are enjoying your time as well!
Earlier this week my husband and I sat down and talked, openly and honestly, about when we want to begin trying to have a baby. If you have read any of my previous posts, you will remember that I’ve talked a lot about my desire to have a baby. Needless to say, I have intense baby fever!
In the past, my husband and I have had many conversations about starting a family, but it felt like we were on different pages. I wanted to make sure that we want to have children for the right reasons. Sometimes there can be pressure for couples to have children, because it is what is expected. I didn’t want my husband to ever feel pressured if he isn’t ready to start yet.
However, after our conversation, it turns out he has been warming up to the idea, and is ready to start in the Spring! I am very excited, and nervous at the same time. Having a baby is, as you know, a huge change. Nothing will ever be the same. However, we are both finally ready!
Over the last few months, I have written a few posts about my baby fever. With work back in full swing, after an amazing summer off, baby fever took a back seat. However, last night I had a dream that we were pregnant and the fever is back with a renewed vitality! To take the edge off, I have been pinning baby articles on Pinterest and watching Netflix.
We are talking about starting to try for a baby when the New Year comes around, and I have to admit that with the excitement, there is nervousness. Like, what happens to my anxiety when I go off my medication? What if I am sick the whole time? Will labor be 24 hours long? These are the questions that go through my head as the new year gets closer and closer.
For all you mothers out there, how did you handle the fears of pregnancy and motherhood? Was there any way you helped calm your fears? And also, what do you do when you have an anxiety disorder and you’re pregnant?
Thank you for your support!!
When my anxiety is running high, I find it very difficult to drive. For whatever reason, I become terrified of the various obstacles that operating a vehicle requires. Traffic seems overwhelming. Stoplights daunting. So I just avoid it all together by having an unspoken agreement during those times that my husband will take the lead.
Last year, when my anxiety was the worst it had been in years, I went months without getting behind the wheel. I remember one time, the mere thought of getting in the drivers seat actually set off a panic attack. That was the start of my realization that something was wrong and I needed to get help. My eyes were beginning to see that I was in over my head.
Fast forward eight months later… For those of you have not read any of my previous postings, I finally went to see my doctor and was given a very low dosage of medication to help curb the side effects of my anxiety. I also began to practice yoga, blog daily, and create a support system of close friends and family. All of these strategies have helped me exponentially over the last several months!
NOW! To the Roadblock!
A group of teachers and I had a training down in Phoenix, Arizona and I decided that I WANTED to drive everyone! I just had it in my head that I wanted to take the leap and take the wheel! I am so glad I went with my gut, because it felt so empowering! The car I drove wasn’t even my own car, yet I still felt compelled to drive. I am not sure if you have ever been to Arizona, but the roads are not flat, or straight, by any means. We had to descend through the mountains by a few thousand feet, so I had to maneuver around curves, up hills and down slopes. The incredible part about this experience is that I never ONCE had an ounce of anxiety. Never Once. I can honestly tell you that I never imagined that I would be able to say that. It was a huge stepping stone in my healing process to be able to confident enough to drive.
I wanted to share this with you guys because I am so excited, and I know you will all appreciate how monumental this was!! 🙂
Never loose focus on the dreams you have for yourself. Keep striving onward towards making your life into all that you want it to be. You may encounter hard times, but don’t give up. Continue to press onward!
**Now I just need to make strides towards making my dream of writing a novel come true!
This afternoon, my marvelous husband and I took a quad ride into the desert behind our house. Normally, we take our bigger utility quad and ride together, however, today we decided we would each ride our own. I don’t often drive mine because it has been low on gas, but we put some in today because I was itching to drive!
As we drove out into the vast openness of the valleys, I took in the grace and beauty of nature. There is just something about riding out into untamed country while on a quad that just opens my eyes to the beauty of it all. I felt like I was apart of nature. I was rolling and twisting with the dirt path. The wind tugged at my cheeks and my heart soared as I jumped over crevasses left behind from the rain.
I remember about a year ago I was riding out with my family and began to notice that I carried a lot of anxiety on my chest. I noticed that the world around me was so peaceful and beautiful, however, my chest was tight and I felt as if the true grace that surrounded me couldn’t penetrate my soul. It was the first time I started to realize that my anxiety was bigger than I thought. I was not only occasionally having anxiety, I was carrying it with me at all times. I was starting to accept that something was not normal. It was a huge step.
As I rode today, I reflected on that incident and felt so proud of how far I had come in the last several months. I can assure you that I never thought I would feel relaxed to the core. I always thought I would have weight pushing down on my chest. I always thought I would live on the edge of panic. I am here to tell you that you DO NOT have to live that way! There is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Does this mean that I will never experience anxiety? No! I have episodes to this day. However, it no longer controls me. I control it!
I watched an incredible documentary today that was made by four college boys who were looking for a way to change the way we saw poverty. It is called Living On One Dollar. They traveled to a small village in Guatemala and, essentially, took up the community’s lifestyle for two months. They believed that reading their textbooks and listening to lectures was not enough to fully understand what it means to live in extreme poverty. The only way they could comprehend the struggles of others in the world was to become one of them. For 56 days they did just that. It was extremely touching to watch them form deep bonds with their neighbors and watch them learn about the true meaning of the human spirit and will to survive. It was one of the best documentaries I have seen in a long time.
It really got me thinking about they kind of differences I am making. Yes, I am a teacher, but I do not always feel like I am doing all that I can to touch the lives around me. Like most of us in the United States, I can be very self-focused and worry mostly about how I am going to meet my own wants and needs. After watching this documentary, I realize most of my “needs” are actually “wants”. I do not need another pair of jeans. I do not need a new makeup brush. I do not need that new X-Men movie on blu-ray. Honestly, I have more things in my life that I could ever need. I think it is time for me to start looking for more ways to meet the needs of those around me instead of focusing on my wants.
If you are looking for an inspirational film that gets you thinking, I suggest you watch this one!