After years of battling anxiety and ADHD, I am finally at the point where I accept them as part of who I am. This is not to say that I don’t have times of struggle or frustrations, because I do, but I am learning to love and accept everything about myself. So I am making a list of the positives:
1. I am able to help others going through the same thing
2. It brings me closer to God
3. Pushes me out of my comfort zone and open up to others for support
4. It makes me appreciate times of utter happiness
5. Helps me stay in tuned to my emotions and find strategies to stay positive
6. Allows me to understand my students who suffer from anxiety and ADHD
The road towards self acceptance, for me, has been a long and windy one. In high school I would often wish I was someone else. Someone who was beautiful, thin, confident and brilliant. I always felt I was too thick, too lazy, or too scared to ever be accepted by anyone. However, as I am growing older I am realizing that the only way for others to begin to accept me, is if I accept myself first.
People seem naturally drawn towards individuals who are confident in themselves. People who don’t apologize for being who they are and do not care if their true self is exposed. I feel I have finally reached a point in my life where I accepted ALL of who I am. I feel that I have come to peace with the fact that I am a curvy size 10/12 woman. It took forever to reach this point, but I finally love my body for what it is, and I no longer covet the smaller figure.
I have also learned to embrace my ADHD. Truthfully, I have always enjoyed being hyperactive and quick to comment. I have always felt that it made me unique. I am by no means saying I don’t get frustrated when I loose or forget about something, because I am constantly fighting that battle. The difference is that when I am frustrated, I no longer resent the fact that I have ADHD. I tell myself, yes this may be frustrating that this is happening to me, but it is who I am and it will only make me a stronger woman.
However, I had not (until recently) accepted my anxiety. For years I would pray every night for God to take away my anxiety. To set me free from the chains of worry that were clamped to my ankles and weighing me down. I waited for an answer and became angry when I did not get one. Now I am seeing that God has been answering my prayers, just not in the way I wanted Him to. I now am realizing that my anxiety had been controlling me and I allowed it to do so. I was blaming God for not instantly taking away my problems. He wanted more from me. I had to fight and claw my way through the disorder and come out a different person before I could see the work He was doing in me the entire time. I needed to rise above and take back the control. God had placed people around to help guide me right to where I needed to be in my healing process. There was so much available to me, but I had shut everyone out and tried to heal myself on my own. Once I let go of trying to force change, doors seemed to open for me and little by little I began to heal. Does it suck to have anxiety? Heck yes it does! But does that mean my life is over and I can never find happiness or peace? Absolutely not! Now, I can finally say that I accept my anxiety. It is part of who I am and it always will be. And guess what!? I am OK with that. 🙂
I believe the key to experiencing acceptance is to find it within yourself. To love who you are, just as you are. You are perfect 🙂
Last night I created my very first podcast! Since you all have been so wonderful and have supported me as I have opened up about my anxiety. On my podcast I go deeper into explaining what anxiety is and how I have coped. Also, you will get to hear my voice, which I’m sure you have been dying to hear! LOL! As always, I insert my own humor and quirky jokes! Check it out!
I challenge you to complement yourself. To be proud of who you are as a person and the talents you possess. I know it is an uncomfortable thing to do, looking at yourself in a positive way, but I believe that it is completely fine. We spend a large portion of the day looking at desirable qualities of others and wishing we were more like them. Finding the faults in ourselves has become a natural past time for many of us (myself included) and because of that, we no longer feel comfortable looking at our strengths. How sad is that? We were all made perfectly! Yes, we may have weaknesses but that doesn’t mean we are failures.
The parts of the body do not all perform the same function, but they all come together to form a beautiful creation. What good would a body be if everything was a heart? A brain? Or a pinky finger? Nothing would get done. It is the same with our talents. If we were all musicians, music would not be as beautiful because everything would be the same. I certainly don’t want the same talents as everyone else. Our unique qualities allow us to form a culture where we can all support one another and work together to make amazing things!
Now the challenge is to identify five things about yourself that you LOVE! Don’t feel guilty about acknowledging your own amazing qualities!
Here are the 5 things I LOVE about myself:
1. I am very creative and artistic
2. I am talented when it comes to stringing words together to make beautiful sentences
3. I am a great entertainer and am able to tell stories with over the top enthusiasm
4. I have amazing hair!
5. I am a trustworthy friend 🙂
**I have to admit it was a little difficult for me to come up with 5 good things about myself. I think changing my mindset about myself is now on my list!**
Now I challenge you!! Write your 5 best qualities!