My loving daughter woke up at 1:30 and I haven’t been able to go back to sleep! Ugh! My mind has been racing with thoughts at full speed. Lesson plans, yearbook ideas, vacations, Pinterest searches and everything in between! I’m going to be tired in the morning! My poor students…
Today my anxiety was real. It was intense. Sharp. Constricting. There were several times today when I felt as if I couldn’t breath. As if I was about to fall into an abyss. I haven’t felt anxiety this raw in a long time.
It was triggered by the end of my summer break rapidly coming to an end. I go back to work Friday, and I am dreading leaving my baby. Any time I think about it I feel sick. I have loved being home with her this summer. Cuddling together, and watching the Today Show in the morning. Playtimes in the afternoon, and bedtime snuggles at night. It rips me apart inside to have to go back and no longer have those times with her.
I also love my job. I always look forward to going back, but it is different now. I wasn’t expecting to experience this sadness.
I know God will give me strength to push onward, and it will get better with time, but right now it hurts.
Here we are! How can I leave this beautiful face?