Tonight was beautiful in its simplicity. Not only was I completely anxiety free, but my little family of three was able to spend time together distraction free. Cellphones and television shows weren’t even missed on this perfect night!
My husband, daughter (11 months old) and I enjoyed a peaceful pasta dinner around the table while Jazz Christmas songs played softly in the background. The melodies intertwined with our conversations and we spent most of the dinner joyously laughing.
After dinner, it was bath time for my daughter, so my husband, without prompting, took her into the bathroom and proceeded to wash her! It was incredible!
Once my little angel was bathed, my husband and I both went into her bedroom and read her a Christmas story. It is not often that we get to enjoy putting her to bed together, and I treasure those moments when we do.
Tonight was perfectly simple, yet as went through the actions, my heart was overflowing with joy. I grew up in an incredibly close-knit family, and it was my dream to have one of my own. Tonight, I realized, my dream has come true. We may not be perfect, but our impressions make us stronger. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Again this year, I am back at my childhood home with my family. My husband couldn’t come in because he needed to stay and take care of his mom. It is difficult being here without him during Christmas, but over the last few days I have realized that I have been taking him for granted. I work with him, and live with him, I am just expect him to always be around. I think him about all the time and I want him to be with me!
It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder!
Is my life perfect? Not by any stretch of the imagination. I have scrapes, scars and baggage that often slows me down. However, I have discovered that love covers all imperfections. God has given me and incredible family and they have been there during my darkest, and most anxious, days. They have watched me fight the battles of my mental disorders, and have never once left my side. I am loved because of my imperfection. Because I am not defined by the blemishes in my life, but by my heart. Anxiety has not defeated me because my heart is full of joy and peace in the face of my trials.
Purhaps we need to redefine what perfection is? God, and those who truly love us, don’t love us conditionally. They make a decision everyday to continue showering us with love no matter what we do. That sounds pretty perfect to me!
Have you ever felt complex drained of all emotion, and you are left feeling utterly exhausted? Well, that is where I am right now. The past 24 hours have been very challenging emotionally. I had some drama, which I hate, at work, and it all left me very upset and ridiculously anxious. I must say the only thing that got me through the day was the support and love of my friends. They are incredible and wonderful, and there is not enough praise in their world for me to give them.
I think it is virtually impossible to fight anxiety alone. I also think it is difficult to go through any struggle on your own. Friends and family are so important to help ease our struggles and help us in our darkest days. Today was difficult but my friends were there for me and I was able to get through it! They loved me just as I am!
This time of year, Valentine’s, can be a difficult season for many people. Not everyone has someone to share it with and I think it is important that we show love to not just our Valentine, but also the people around us. Remember to act kindly to the people you encounter though the day. Have conversations at the check-out. Smile at the people passing you by. Don’t forget to look around you and notice what is going on. We may all be on our technology but that doesn’t mean the world around us stops. We have a responsibility to interact with the world, not just walk though it. We could very well miss out on showing kindness to someone who needs it.
I challenge you to put down your phone and make a conversation today. It may be awkward at first, but you may discover something as you do it!
As a teacher, I have many students in my classes who do not have supportive environments. I try my best to provide them with a classroom that they can all feel safe and valued in, because that may be the only place they experience that sort of care. Even though I have an anxiety disorder, it was caused by genetics, not an unloving home. I was spoiled rotten as a child, and continue to be treated as such by my husband. My heart goes out to all my students who crave love and have no where to find it.
I challenge you today to do something positive for someone else. Take a moment to break outside of your normal routine and do something unexpected for someone. It may just be a small thing, but you never know how badly someone may need a positive uplift! Good luck and have a fantastic day. 🙂