Becoming a parent?!

My husband and I are nearing the point in our lives were we are wanting to truly consider becoming parents, and I don’t mean to our dogs. Real human beings. Or perhaps just a singular being. There are lots of unknown questions and fears we both have in regards to this area because we want to be sure we are ready and prepared when the little fellow arrives. I know parenthood is not something that can be planned for 100%, but since I struggle with anxiety I want to be proactive.

My biggest fear about being a parent is that my anxiety will get in the way of me being able to be a good parent. Logically in my mind I know I will be a good mother, since I “raise” my students well at school. However, the anxious part of my brain tells me that I will be a mess! To fight back my own anxiety, I am going to arm myself with knowledge and support from friends and family. I want to be open about the struggles and the triumphs as my husband and I begin to map out this journey.

I wanted to share this with you because you have all be so supportive of my anxious conquerings and so many of you have given me such wonderful advice! Thank you for helping me win this battle!

What are your best qualities?

There are always times when we all feel down and, for lack of better words, beat ourselves up. In the past, there have been times where I could hardly look in the mirror because I was so angry with myself. I truly think we are often times too hard on ourselves. We beat ourselves up over small things, and some not so small things, but honestly, I believe we are all trying our best in the situations we are in.

If you are feeling down about yourself I want you to write down at least one thing you like about yourself. ANYTHING! Each day, add one more item to the list, and soon you will see you have many wonderful qualities about yourself!

If you would like to comment below and leave some things you like or even love about yourself, feel free! We should share our self love!! 🙂

Here are my top three:
1. I like my excitement about life
2. I have a huge imagination
3. I have pretty amazing hair

The Anxious Wife

Having anxiety and being a good wife can be difficult. I know my anxiety can make me appear selfish. I get caught up in my own fear and worry and in the process forget about his needs. This has happened in the past so I am working to ensure this doesn’t become a regular occurrence. I want to be sure that my husband’s needs are met, however, I learned that if I do not take care of myself first, then I am in condition to be Wife of the Year.

When I was lost to anxiety last year I saw no one else. I felt nothing but anxiety and could think of little more. My husband wasn’t even on my radar. During that time we drifted far apart, and the worst thing about it was that I didn’t even notice. I was so wrapped up in myself that I lost sight of him. He was going through a lot in his life as well. Starting a new job, working towards his masters degree, and learning to manage his own anxiety while holding a position of leadership. I didn’t bother to reach out to him to support him. I only thought of how anxious I was.

I may sound a little hard on myself, however, it is reality. I don’t want to sugarcoat my behaviors. I think I needed a little Come To Jesus Talk. When I finally realized I needed help, and I got the help I needed was able to overcome my anxiety with the support of my family. It feels good to be able to help serve others instead of being trapped in my own anxiety.

I want to fulfill all of my husband’s needs and show him that he is truly loved. I am blessed to have a man who always stands beside me, in sickness and in health, and I will forever strive to return those vows. Anxiety or no Anxiety!

**P.S. Those rings in the picture are ours! He picked out the ring and I was so proud of him!**

2 year Anniversary!

Today marks my 2 year wedding anniversary! It’s almost impossible to believe that it has been two years! I have no idea how that happened! These past 24 months have been wonderful! It hasn’t all be rainbows and butterflies, but it has been honest and real. Each struggle we have encountered, we have grown stronger and closer together!

Happy Anniversary!

Anxiety hasn’t visited me in awhile

I have realized that I have gone a long stretch of time without being bother by my pesky friend, anxiety! I had a mild bout with her about a week ago but nothing much before that and none since I have been on vacation at my parents house! It feels liberating to be able to go days, almost weeks without it! I am loving the freedom of living in the moment and absorbing the joy and emotions of the atmosphere. With my anxiety, I had no room for any other feeling. Now there is plenty of room to experience an array of emotions I haven’t felt in a long time!

Just in time for Christmas!

My childhood home

I feel relaxed here
Comforted by memories
My childhood home

I love my mom!

This evening my family and I have been watching Christmas movies, after we had spent the day shopping! I have missed spending quality time with them and it just feels so good to be back here! I feel so blessed to have a close knit family and we continue the traditions we started when we were kids! For the past 29 years my parents have given us pjs on Christmas Eve so we could have nice pictures on Christmas morning. So, today mom and I bought those pjs for everyone so we could continue the tradition!

It is utterly surreal to be back home because it feels as if I have never left. The feelings of stress and worriedness have bee replaced with relaxation and contentment. I adore being with my family and am looking forward to the next few days with them! I hope they go by slowly!

Hanging with my bro!

It has been years since I have been able to just hang out and sit with my brother back at my childhood home!
It has been wonderful to be back! Today I went to my mother’s school and got to meet her students and then the whole family watched a movie together! It was just like old times. I am so glad I was able to come home for Christmas!

Traditions!!

As Christmas draws nearer, I have begun some of our family traditions.

What are your favorite traditions?

Christmas Movie Season

There are so many reasons to love this time of year! Cookies, lights, music, shopping, and Christmas Movies! I adore Christmas movies! They are full of beautiful messages of hope, love and family. December can be a hectic month, but I think it is important to take time out of the day to think about love and hope.

There have been times in my life where my anxiety had been so bad, that I felt as if I could never experience either emotion ever again. I felt lost and afraid. However, I found my family helped lift me out of the darkness, and supported me on the journey to healing.

As I begin my season of watching Christmas movies, I reflect on the purest joys in my life. My husband, my family and my relationship with Jesus Christ. I love Christmas season and celebrating all the beauty life has to offer us!