Beautiful Night

Tonight was beautiful in its simplicity. Not only was I completely anxiety free, but my little family of three was able to spend time together distraction free. Cellphones and television shows weren’t even missed on this perfect night!

My husband, daughter (11 months old) and I enjoyed a peaceful pasta dinner around the table while Jazz Christmas songs played softly in the background. The melodies intertwined with our conversations and we spent most of the dinner joyously laughing.

After dinner, it was bath time for my daughter, so my husband, without prompting, took her into the bathroom and proceeded to wash her! It was incredible!

Once my little angel was bathed, my husband and I both went into her bedroom and read her a Christmas story. It is not often that we get to enjoy putting her to bed together, and I treasure those moments when we do.

Tonight was perfectly simple, yet as went through the actions, my heart was overflowing with joy. I grew up in an incredibly close-knit family, and it was my dream to have one of my own. Tonight, I realized, my dream has come true. We may not be perfect, but our impressions make us stronger. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Moving Forward

Thank you to all of your kind words about my husband and I deciding to become foster parents. To be honest, it is all we can think and talk about! Not only are we excited to begin the process, but we are also nervous. We are still waiting to hear from an agency and while we have been waiting, we have been doing a lot of research and making a list of questions that we want to ask. We have also been talking to our families about our decision and they are all very supportive and on board. Now, we just wait!

Also, today has been amazing! My husband and I spent most of the afternoon cuddled on the couch and chatting about anything and everything! It was wonderful because we haven’t been able to slow down in several weeks. It was amazing!

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend so far and you are enjoying your time as well!

Set a Date(ish)

Earlier this week my husband and I sat down and talked, openly and honestly, about when we want to begin trying to have a baby. If you have read any of my previous posts, you will remember that I’ve talked a lot about my desire to have a baby. Needless to say, I have intense baby fever!

In the past, my husband and I have had many conversations about starting a family, but it felt like we were on different pages. I wanted to make sure that we want to have children for the right reasons. Sometimes there can be pressure for couples to have children, because it is what is expected. I didn’t want my husband to ever feel pressured if he isn’t ready to start yet.

However, after our conversation, it turns out he has been warming up to the idea, and is ready to start in the Spring! I am very excited, and nervous at the same time. Having a baby is, as you know, a huge change. Nothing will ever be the same. However, we are both finally ready!

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Redoing the Old

I haven’t been posting a lot lately because my husband and I have been remodeling our garage! It has been a wonderful experience for us because it has really brought us together. In a marriage, you go through ups and downs and we had been in a period in which we seemed to be getting on each others nerves more often than not! LOL! Well since we have been working cohesively, as a team, to get the work done, we have reconnected! It has been wonderful. It is really interesting that when you work together to reach a common goal, the closer you become. This can be true in many other relationships. When we have our eyes on the same target, we shoot straight, together. 🙂 Check out the pictures from our project! It is still a work in progress, but I am really happy about what we have accomplished so far!

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Graduation and Babies!

For the last two years, by husband has been working on getting his Master’s degree, and on Wednesday, HE FINISHED IT! I am so proud of him and all the dedication he devoted to his degree. It was a difficult two years, for both of us, but now we are on the other side and it was totally worth it! A whole new chapter of our lives has started! We can spend more time just hanging out together and enjoy growing closer without any distractions.

Over the last few days, we have actually been talking about something very exciting and life changing! Having a BABY!! I have posted in the past about my baby fever that has been raging for months! However, my darling husband has never really caught the fever until recently! I think it because he can no think of anything other than his homework. No that his mind can relax and think about the other things he wants in his life, he is able to think about expanding our family!! Today we talked about when we should start trying and when we would ideally (we know we can’t plan everything) we would like to have it! Oh my goodness! It is so exciting!

I still am worried about how my anxiety will react to pregnancy, but I am continuing to do research and talk about options with my doctor. I want to be sure that I am healthy and fit so that I can provide the best home for my little baby! 🙂

I will keep you updated on how the process if going! I cannot wait to share it all with you guys!

Reflection on my Age

Yesterday I posted about my struggle with coming to terms with my upcoming 30th birthday, and today I have been thinking a lot about all the wonderful comments I received from all of you, encouraging me to remain true to myself. I love who I am and I love the life I have built with my husband. Yes, I may be into childish type things, but as I have grown older I have been able to take those passions and tweek them to fit into the stage of life I am in. I am looking forward to this next chapter of my life and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me during this decade!

Marriage

Fairy tales never show the dedication,

That is takes to make a marriage work.

A couple must learn to compromise,

Even when they drive each other bezerk!

It is not all rainbows and butterflies,

Sometimes it is held back tears.

But when love takes root and blossoms,

It will help us push past our fears.

My marriage is something I treasure,

A commitment made with my entire heart.

Through the bright sunny days and the dark,

My love and I will never part.

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Smoked Ribs and Pajama Pants!

Today was a really fun day because my husband and I spent most of it tending to a rack of ribs we were smoking. My husband got it for Christmas and we finally got to try it out, and let me tell you it was incredible! It was so relaxing to sit out on the front porch and watch the smoke billow from the smoker. The entire yard, if not neighborhood, smelled of sweet Apple smoke. The best part about this culinary adventure was that we did it in our pjs!

Oh! And I was anxiety free! YAY!

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Wait out Anxious Moments

Over the past few days I have been waiting for a gift I purchased, for my husband, to arrive in the mail with anxious anticipation. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something was wrong. It seemed to be taking an exceptionally long period of time to receive the gift, so I checked again online to track the item. The tracking invoice stated that the gift had been delivered two days ago, yet I had not seen it. At this point in time, my anxiety was climbing towards a 10 out of 10, and I didn’t want to loose a personalized wedding anniversary gift to a complete stranger.

Upon more investigation, I discovered that it had been shipped to the address I had lived at when I first moved to Arizona. I hadn’t lived there in over two years, so I started to panic. I called the Post Office, and the man was very kind, however, not overly helpful. He confirmed that the package had been delivered, which meant it wasn’t lost in the mail. I

now had images of some random person keeping my personalized gift and displaying on their mantle and admiring it! The rational part of my brain told me this would be odd, because not many people have our names and wedding date in combination.

My husband reminded me that my old roommate, who owned the house, could still be renting it out. So, I sent her a text. While I was waiting I felt anxiety’s icy fingers wrap around my chest and start to squeeze. It took all the strength I had to fight against it. I kept telling myself that it would all be ok. If I never got the package, there was nothing I could do about it. Anxiety kept trying to take over, yet I kept up the self talk. This internal battle raged on for what felt like forever, when finally I noticed my phone had a new message. I clicked on the little green SMS icon and opened the text. It was from my old roommate! It said that she had my package and I could come pick it up at any time! I couldn’t believe it! God was really looking out for me!

As soon I told my husband the good news I felt the grip of the anxiety lift off my shoulders! Had this incident occurred 6 months ago I would have been anxious for days. I have felt myself grow so much in the ways I approach my anxiety in the face of struggle. I am glad that I kept up the fight against allowing it to overwhelm me, because had I not, my day could have been spent in an endless cycle of worry about something that was far beyond my control.

If you are in fight against a mental disorder, don’t give up! You will be able to beat it! Reach out those around you. You are strong, and you are most definitely NOT alone!