Over the past few days I have been waiting for a gift I purchased, for my husband, to arrive in the mail with anxious anticipation. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something was wrong. It seemed to be taking an exceptionally long period of time to receive the gift, so I checked again online to track the item. The tracking invoice stated that the gift had been delivered two days ago, yet I had not seen it. At this point in time, my anxiety was climbing towards a 10 out of 10, and I didn’t want to loose a personalized wedding anniversary gift to a complete stranger.
Upon more investigation, I discovered that it had been shipped to the address I had lived at when I first moved to Arizona. I hadn’t lived there in over two years, so I started to panic. I called the Post Office, and the man was very kind, however, not overly helpful. He confirmed that the package had been delivered, which meant it wasn’t lost in the mail. I
now had images of some random person keeping my personalized gift and displaying on their mantle and admiring it! The rational part of my brain told me this would be odd, because not many people have our names and wedding date in combination.
My husband reminded me that my old roommate, who owned the house, could still be renting it out. So, I sent her a text. While I was waiting I felt anxiety’s icy fingers wrap around my chest and start to squeeze. It took all the strength I had to fight against it. I kept telling myself that it would all be ok. If I never got the package, there was nothing I could do about it. Anxiety kept trying to take over, yet I kept up the self talk. This internal battle raged on for what felt like forever, when finally I noticed my phone had a new message. I clicked on the little green SMS icon and opened the text. It was from my old roommate! It said that she had my package and I could come pick it up at any time! I couldn’t believe it! God was really looking out for me!
As soon I told my husband the good news I felt the grip of the anxiety lift off my shoulders! Had this incident occurred 6 months ago I would have been anxious for days. I have felt myself grow so much in the ways I approach my anxiety in the face of struggle. I am glad that I kept up the fight against allowing it to overwhelm me, because had I not, my day could have been spent in an endless cycle of worry about something that was far beyond my control.
If you are in fight against a mental disorder, don’t give up! You will be able to beat it! Reach out those around you. You are strong, and you are most definitely NOT alone!