A Promise in times of Pain

Hold on tight

to the words I speak to you now

Do not give up hope

Be an Arrow

In life we will experience difficulties and hardships. It will not be easy, by any stretch of the imagination. As many of you know, I have wrestled with an anxiety disorder my entire life and have had my fair share of ups and downs as a result. I use to pray everyday, multiple times a day, for God to take it from me. To give me any other affliction except anxiety. However, He saw a bigger plan. I now see that my anxiety allows me to help others who are experiencing the same pains as I do. I can relate and help them feel less alone. Less afraid.

I came across a beautiful quote that compared life to an arrow. It talked about how an arrow can only shoot if it is pulled back. And in the process of being pulled back it prepares to be launched forward. This is a perfect example of our lives. We have to remember that “being pulled back” or the downs in our life, doesn’t mean that our life it is over. It only means that we are about to be launched into an amazing future!

The difference a year can make

My spirit feels light

No longer oppressed

By the constant pressure

Anxiety brings.

I can feel emotion again

Worry no longer dominates

My mind is free

From its grasp.

A year of healing

365 days of cleansing

I never imagined

I could feel so good!

Together, we can beat it!

When we feel at our lowest, that is when we must push on. When there seems to be no hope; We MUST continue to move forward. Mental illness is tough, but we are tougher! We have to be able to take control of our illness and show it who is boss! It is time to take back control! We can do it together!

You are not Alone

If you are someone who has a mental disorder, like myself, I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Over this past year, I have been learning that more people  have been experiencing the same thing I have than I ever imagined! It is sad to think we have all kept silent because we are afraid that we will be ridiculed. Many of us have suffered years in silence and have been too timid to tell those around us what is really going on.

You are not alone! Reach out. Tell a friend. Write a blog. Whatever medium you feel most comfortable express your feelings and struggles because people will reach out and be there for you. You do not have to struggle alone.

Anger is natural, what matters is how you express it.

Today, I had an unexpected, random anxiety meltdown. I feel sorry for my darling husband, because he happened to walk past me as I was flipping out, and he took the brunt of it all.

For whatever reason, I had reached a point where I was frustrated with having fight anxiety. There are times when I wish, as many of you do, that anxiety was not something I had to battle. However, after I got out all of the anger (that snuck up on me) I felt better.

There are times when we will be angry. We will be upset. That is ok. These emotions are a natural part of life. What matters is how we handle these emotions and how we express them. Find a a constructive way to express the emotions and understand that it is ok to feel them. It is part of the journey towards acceptance.

Healing

Healing will take time

 You should never ever give up 

It is worth the pain 

I have come so far!!

How has it been 9 months since my last panic attack AND since I started down my road towards better mental health. It has been an incredible journey filled with challenges and triumphs. I feels fantastic to be back to my self and no longer fear the things I love to do!

If any of are you are thinking that you can never be mentally healthy, but don’t know how to do it, just take the first step and reach out to someone around you. If you have any questions, let me know and I can help give you some ideas on where to start 🙂

The Peaceful feeling of Anxiety

Tonight, just as the sun was setting over the cascading mountains in the distance, I absorbed the last moments of light upon my face. As I stood watching the slow decent of the sun, I realized I was surrounded by silence. Even though the silence was surrounding me, I could hear the whooshing of the wind, chirping of the birds, and the song of the mountains. What I could not here was my anxiety. That horrible, constant whisper of fear and torment that often lingers in my thoughts. It was gone. I was able to stand there and see the beauty of life without hearing my mental plague. Rarely does my mind sit still with the combination of anxiety and ADHD that plays continuously in the background of all my thoughts. It was a true blessing for it all to still and allow me to enjoy the wonder of the moment.

As I sit here now, writing about this beautiful moment, I am realizing that without my anxiety I would never fully appreciate peace. That moment of watching the sun set would not have been as wondrous had I not understood what an anxious mind felt like. I believe that my anxiety allows me to see the world differently and appreciate peace deeply. I am thankful for the blessings that are disguised by my disorder. I am glad that I am finally able to see the good in my anxiety! It has been a long road, but I am grateful that I am finally at that point!

What are your blessings?

There are times in life when our minds become over saturated with negative thoughts and attitudes, and finding anything positive in our situation seems impossible! Foolish even. However, if you look closely, you can find it. The small, dim light radiating a flicker of heat on your otherwise chilled spirit. Examine the world around you to discover these hidden blessings that we often overlook. 

Last week this lesson applied directly to me. My attitude was sour and my anxiety was high. Never a good combination! I could not see any blessings in my life. However, there was a moment when I was laying on the floor after a workout, just feeling sorry for myself, when one of my dogs came up to me and pressed herself lovingly against me in a doggy hug. It touched my heart and reminded me that I have people (and even canines) that love me, and there is no greater blessing than that. 

I challenge you to find just 1 blessing in your day. When you find yourself filled with negative thoughts, meditate on that blessing. Fight the negativity and darkness. Open your arms wide and soak in the light of positivity. 

Here is one of my three little furry blessings!