An Honest Struggle

Today marks one week since our miscarriage began. I began noticing some warning signs last Thursday and over the next few days the inevitable occurred. It feels like another world when we were pregnant and excited about planning nurseries, names and family friend vacations. I admit that my heart breaks when I see children, and that makes my day incredibly challenging because I am a teacher. I try to loose myself in my daily tasks, and take extra care to love on my students a little more than usual, but I am finding that my mind continues to hold onto the memories of the last few days.

The pain does not feel as sharp and vivid, but it is still present. Whenever the world around me is quiet, my thoughts slip into the “what if” game. I wonder what it would be like to be further along in my pregnancy. Would I have morning sickness? What would it feel like? These ideas often lead me to a place of dark negativity.

I am trying very hard to remain positive, but today that has been difficult. I am just feeling sad and a little hopeless, to be honest. I feel like I am never going to have a child, and my desire to be a mother will go unsatisfied. I know, in my heart, that God does not give us desires the He will not fulfill, but today is just hard.

Again, thank you for all the love and support you have poured on me over the last few days. I truly appreciate it.



A part of me has been dreading this day all weekend, while The other part of me has been anxiously awaiting it. Today we heard back from the doctor to find out if we were indeed having a miscarriage. The miscarriage was confirmed. We lost the baby. 

The last five days have felt like a blur of tears, anger and disbelief. It all seems surreal because just six days ago we were picking out nursery themes and discussing baby names. Now that the doctor has confirmed the miscarriage, the loss of our baby feels real. There is no chance of pregnancy. It is final. 

My husband and I are trying our best to remain positive and trust that God has a plan. Honestly, it is so much easier said than done. 

I have never experienced this type of loss before, and all of my emotions are new and unexplored. Even though this is awful, I will continue to focus on God and try to be positive. That doesn’t mean I won’t hurt, or be angry. It means that I will have faith inspite of my own pain. 

Thank you again for all of your support and kind words. It means the world to me. 

Thank You

I truly want to thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart, for all of your condolences and prayers that have been offered over the last few days. I have been overwhelmed by the love and support you have all showered on me and my husband. So many of you have shared your stories of miscarriage and loss, and my heart goes out to each one of you. However, I truly thank you all for sharing your stories and helping me get through this. 

I love you all! ❤️ 



Yesterday I spent most of the night in the ER, and today our pregnancy has ended with a miscarriage. 

We were only six weeks along, but I am finding that within that short time I was able to fall in love with a little embryo. I feel so many emotions and it I difficult to sort through them. However, even though I do not feel hope, I know God has a plan. Honestly, I  don’t understand how He can have a plan for all of this, and I may never understand. But I will continue to have faith, even in my doubt.