Beautiful Night

Tonight was beautiful in its simplicity. Not only was I completely anxiety free, but my little family of three was able to spend time together distraction free. Cellphones and television shows weren’t even missed on this perfect night!

My husband, daughter (11 months old) and I enjoyed a peaceful pasta dinner around the table while Jazz Christmas songs played softly in the background. The melodies intertwined with our conversations and we spent most of the dinner joyously laughing.

After dinner, it was bath time for my daughter, so my husband, without prompting, took her into the bathroom and proceeded to wash her! It was incredible!

Once my little angel was bathed, my husband and I both went into her bedroom and read her a Christmas story. It is not often that we get to enjoy putting her to bed together, and I treasure those moments when we do.

Tonight was perfectly simple, yet as went through the actions, my heart was overflowing with joy. I grew up in an incredibly close-knit family, and it was my dream to have one of my own. Tonight, I realized, my dream has come true. We may not be perfect, but our impressions make us stronger. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Post Preemie Eye Exam

My baby girl had her follow up eye exam and all is good! Actually, all is great! Her eyes are fully developed and looking fantastic! The doctor even commented on how mature she is, developmentally, for her age! Yay! That lifted a HUGE weight off of my shoulders. 

Tomorrow we will be taking her to her four month developmental check up to make sure she is progressing the way she should. Over the last few months, as we have taken her into her pediatrician, there has been no red flags, so we hope tomorrow will go smoothly.

I do have some pretty high anxiety about the visit, because I’m not sure what to expect. I feel in my heart she is progressing, but I have never had an extensive amount of time with babies, so I only know what I experience with my daughter. 

I am trying to combat the anxiousness with positive self talk and prayer. This morning I woke up with an 8 out of 10, but since then, it has gone down to about a 2. I may have a spike again before the exam tomorrow, but I am doing my best to stay positive and fight against it. 

I will update you all on her progress tomorrow!! Have a great night and DON’T let anxiety win! 

Be an Arrow

In life we will experience difficulties and hardships. It will not be easy, by any stretch of the imagination. As many of you know, I have wrestled with an anxiety disorder my entire life and have had my fair share of ups and downs as a result. I use to pray everyday, multiple times a day, for God to take it from me. To give me any other affliction except anxiety. However, He saw a bigger plan. I now see that my anxiety allows me to help others who are experiencing the same pains as I do. I can relate and help them feel less alone. Less afraid.

I came across a beautiful quote that compared life to an arrow. It talked about how an arrow can only shoot if it is pulled back. And in the process of being pulled back it prepares to be launched forward. This is a perfect example of our lives. We have to remember that “being pulled back” or the downs in our life, doesn’t mean that our life it is over. It only means that we are about to be launched into an amazing future!


Accept stress when it comes

Stress is always going to be apart of our life. Stress is a natural reaction our body undergoes to help encourage us to complete tasks and it, in some ways, acts as a natural motivator. Now, for those of us who suffer from anxiety disorders, small amounts of stress can send us into a tailspin in a quick hurry! 

We have to learn how to effectively combat stress so that it won’t take a physical or emotional toll on our bodies. Think positively when you find yourself in stressful situations and remember that it will get better. 

I am learning how to handle my stress while continuing to remain positive. I have to admit it is incredibly difficult and I have found myself leaning towards the side of self pity, and that is NOT where I want to be. I am going to continue push myself to push onward inspite of the stressful decisions  and situations I face. 

You Influence those around you, whether you know it or not.

We may not be aware of it, but we influence people around us everyday. A smile could change someone’s day, and a critical comment could tear someone apart. We need to be aware of the ways we are influencing others. Each day we need to ask ourselves how we influence those around us. Are our actions pointing in positive directions, or in negative ones? I would like to say that I point to positivity, however, I know I have negative days, but on those days I need to have a heightened awareness of my actions so I do not lead others towards negativity.

I challenge you to be aware of the ways you influence those around you. If there is anyway you are leading in a direction you do not want to, change it. Make the changes now in preparation for a positive future.

Look Forward. Never Back.

Look Forward.

Never Back.

You cannot change the past.

But the Future is yours!

You are NOT your past.

Change is yours.

Take it and make it our own.

Your life is worth something.

Something Beautiful.

You are beautiful.

Never Look back.

Only look forward.

We don’t have to hate Monday

Mondays are often devastating simply because they are a reminder that we must drudge through another work week. Reports to write, lessons to teach, meals to make, annoying co-workers to pretend to like, and countless other responsibilities. However, we do not have to live our lives hating Monday! What if we changed our perspective and saw it as a chance to show kindness to someone we may not encounter in any other setting. Let’s conquer this Monday and make it our best! Show those around you what it means to positive and be the good that this world needs!


Find Beauty in the Ashes – A Challenge!

With so many negative things floating around in this world, today I wanted to pose a challenge that would help us focus on the beauty of life. Today I challenge you to find something beautiful, and just take it in. Reflect on it for what it is and reflect on how it makes this world a better place. It can be ANYTHING! A child playing with their mom. A flower growing between sidewalk cracks. The sun lighting up the sky in brilliant pinks and oranges as it sinks down beyond the horizon.

Beauty can be found in anything!

Pushing Onward When Other Try to Push You Down

There are going to be times in your life when others are going to want to suppress your talent. When those around you are jealous of your abilities and they want to outshine you. And there are even going to be times when people just do not like you. Does this mean you are a terrible person? Not at all. It is just life. There are over 7 billion people in this world, and we are not all expected to be best friends. All that is expected of us is to show the same respect to one another that we would want to be shown towards ourselves.

Now, being an anxiety sufferer, this lesson is INCREDIBLY difficult. By nature, I am a people pleaser. I desire to be everyone’s friend and there are times when I have a come apart because┬ásomeone is upset with me, or even looked at me strangely. I’m sure (at least I hope) I am not the only one with these same insecurities and anxieties. What we have to remember is that other people’s opinions DO NOT define who we are. We know who we are, and we must be confident in ourselves to not let the thoughts of other effect our self-worth.

I am continually learning this lesson. Even today. I have to remind myself, frequently, that I am a wonderful, kind, creative and loving woman, and nothing anyone else says or does will change who I am. I am loved by my family and friends and that is all that matters. OH and my dogs! They love me too! ­čÖé

You are Created for Something Great!

When you are feeling inadequate, remember that God has created you for a specific purpose. You may not have the skills that the person next to you has, but guess what?! They weren’t created to do what you can do! You are unique and your talents will surprise even yourself!

Don’t forget that YOU are special! YOU are going to do something great!