Long Day

After a long day of work, there is nothing I love more than loosing myself in a good book! That is precisely what I am about to do!

Sleep well everyone! Remember to stay positive and enjoy the beauty around you! No matter how small 🙂

Oh and great news! Anxiety free today!

What do you do when stress and anxiety follow you?

I have to admit that today was not my best day. Work was rough, the kids were wild, and anxiety decided to follow me around all day. When measuring it on my Anxiety scale, it would rank at about a 4, which isn’t overly high but it is still uncomfortable. At one point in the day my eyes welled up with tears while I was working one on one with a student. Luckily, I have had that student for three years and he was very sweet about it. By the time I headed home my anxiety level had risen to a 6.

What I found most helpful in my anxious moments is distraction. I was at home so I decided to listen to my audiobook while I packed for my business trip (I am heading to a technology training tomorrow). I love listening to books so that helped decrease the anxiety. Also, I cuddled my pups, which is actually proven to lower stress levels, so I am going to cuddle even more now! Once I was finished packing I started a new tv series on Netflix to further distract from the anxiousness. I have to admit, it all helped a lot. I am sitting at about a 2 right now.

There is a large part of me that doesn’t want to go to work tomorrow because I want to avoid all stress triggers, but I love my students and they are why I continue to fight this battle against anxiety! I want to be there for them and help them discover the joy in learning! I am going to focus on the positive to keep the anxiety at bay.

What are your strategies for dealing with your anxiety or stress?

Living the Dream

Today was an incredible teaching day! My students were wonderful, which is not always the case. I mean, they are in middle school, so their emotions vary from moment to moment. I felt like all of my classes absorbed the lesson and responded well to what was being taught. It is times like today when I am reminded why I love what I do. Even on the hardest days, I wouldn’t trade my job for any other job. It is because teaching in my dream. It is what I was created to do. Whether or not I stay in the classroom or not, I know that my life will be centered around teaching others.

I believe that whatever your passion is, you should find a way to incorporate it into your daily life. It may be writing, reading, talking, or socializing. All of these characteristics can be incorporated into various jobs or hobbies. If you cannot find it with full time employment, then after work or school, try to fit it into your routine. It feels good to be engaging in an activity that you enjoy, and in turn you feel more positive and alive. Don’t let your days become mundane. Fill time with passion and your dreams. Life it too short to spend it doing things you hate.

Stress !

Ahh! Christmas is way more stressful as an adult! When I was a kid I never worried about how much money various presents cost, travel arrangements, balancing a busy job or organizing the house! Goodness! Being an adult is tiring!

I am getting ready to go back and visit my family so I have been trying to gather everything up and make sure I don’t leave anything! Ohio is a long way away from Arizona! I am really looking forward to it though! I haven’t been in Ohio for Christmas since 2011. I can hardly wait

I hope you guys aren’t as stressed as I am! 😄 I must admit I am happy to be stressed because all the things I am balancing are true blessings in my life!

Flipping my thoughts

When 3am came rolling around today, I found myself wide awake. I was filled with stress concerning all the things I had accomplish at work over the the next few days! I had to grade papers, write lesson plans, write sub plans, read essays, set up centers, write IEPs/FBAs, emails staff members, meet with students… Oh man, there was so much! My mind was racing and I could feel the anxiety rising up in my chest. It started to feel overwhelming! I couldn’t imagine relaxing, let alone going back to sleep because the only thought that filled my mind was, HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS!?

The hour rolled by and it was suddenly 4am. Then 4:30. At this time I was getting annoyed because I knew my alarm was going to go off in less than an hour, and I had barely had 5 hours of sleep (I personally prefer a solid 8). As I kept stressing out about time, the stress about my responsibilities began to worsen and I felt like I was stuck in an endless trap! My anxiety was rising and I wasn’t sure I could handle it…

Then suddenly, as my stress reached an all time high, I remembered something I had heard the other day. I heard we should be thankful even during our times of stress. Take our stress and turn it around to be praise. It seemed crazy to me, but instead of thinking “How am I going to do this?” I said, “Thank you, God, for helping me to do this in the future.” I began to thank God for his strength, and focus on the positive instead of the negative, and suddenly I felt lighter. I didn’t feel burdened down by the stress. I felt freed. I knew I would get it all done. And guess what, I did! YAY! God is good!

Try and turn your negative thoughts into positive ones, and see how things in your life start to change.

We don’t have to take on the burdens of the world

Today was a bit of a rough day, and I spent some a lot of time being angry. I knew that I needed to vent to a supportive friend before I exploded with anxiety. After telling my friend about the situation, they pointed out to me that I was placing a lot of responsibility on myself for what was happening, and that I should take a step back and not take things personally.

I believe that those of us who struggle with anxiety take things personally frequently. Perhaps we overhear a vague comment that a co-worker makes, and we take it as something aimed at us. We hear our boss lecture colleagues, and we feel it is directed at us. Someone snaps at us when they have had a rough day, and we think they hate us. I know my anxiety makes me a people pleaser so I struggle whenever someone is upset.

I believe we need to remember that all the problems in the world are NOT our fault!  It is our job to take responsibility for our actions, but we do not need to take on the cares and worries of those around us. By doing that we are only creating more anxiety for ourselves, and recreating an endless cycle of stress.

Remember, do not take on more burdens than you need. It is not your job to fix the world. 🙂 Relax and release your stress! You deserve a break!

ADHD: My frustration

Normally I adore having ADHD, but I have to admit that I have been struggling over the few weeks with my self esteem in regards to its effects on my life. I am not sure what brought about these negative feelings towards, but I know that right now I am having a very difficult time managing. I am very aware that my ADHD causes me to be overly loud and appear to be childish. I know that I lose things, get off track, become impulsive and slightly out of control. These qualities are often in the forefront of my mind, and I truly work hard to keep them under control.

For whatever reason, these past couple weeks have really worn me down. I have been in several trainings where I have to sit and be quiet for 8 hours at a time, and I think I have noticed how difficult that is for me, and I have been paying more attention to how others around me react to my behavior. It truly sucks to be able to know my problem, yet be almost unable to change it.

I have been struggling with realizing how I may frustrate those around me, my husband included, and how people may not take me as seriously as a professional. This has been a serious blow to my self-esteem. I always thought I was just lovable, forgetful young woman who always had a quirky story to tell, but I’m not sure that is how it is perceived anymore. I feel as if my ADHD is prohibiting me from being the best I can be professionally. I also feel that it is effecting my marriage, because I can tell my husband gets frustrated with me when I don’t pick up the clothes, do the dishes, take out trash, forget my phone or any of the other many things I misplace. He is so great about supporting me, but I know it gets to him, and I don’t ever want my ADHD to cause a rift.

Right now is very difficult, but I know that I am going to get through this and be an even stronger person. Eventually, I will learn how to manage my symptoms more effectively. I will not give into frustration. I am bigger than my problems. I am strong, and I can fight back!

Thank you everyone for listening to my venting.

Personal boundaries are vitally important!

This week I have been learning a lot about personal boundaries. I have taken on a lot, which I don’t mind doing, however, I have put my own responsibilities on hold to help others. Sometimes I think that it is important that I take care of me first, and then help others. I do not want to spend the year neglecting myself, and risking my  anxiety healing sliding backwards. I believe that if I begin prioritizing my duties, I will be able to be more effective. I am loving all the leadership I am getting, and I am learning so much, I just want to be sure that I do not forget about myself. 🙂

I think many people struggle with this. Boundaries are important to have in all areas of life. If people know that you do not have boundaries they will start taking advantage of you. I believe that it is vital to our health, to make sure we take time to unwind and relieve our stress. I have a difficult setting boundaries when it comes to people. I tend to be a people pleaser, and I can be uncomfortable when I feel that someone is disappointed with me. My husband has told me that I normally do this at work and put a lot of myself into relationships with others and they don’t return the effort. He is helping me focus on the job and not worry about what others think. I do not want to be a door mat!