Anxiety over Family

I am feeling overwhelmed with my anxiety today, and it sucks. Through third hand information, today I heard that my mother-in-law has been having a hard time watching my baby while I have been at work. She has been crying out of frustration over it. Now, for a bit of backstory, my MIL has been running daycare out of her home for many years, and she just started watching my daughter on May 1 when I went back to work. My daughter was born 10 weeks early, and it has been a huge deal that she is finally able to go to “daycare” with grandma. 

So, back to hearing about my MIL today. My nail tech, who is a good friend of mine, told me today that one of her clients grandchildren also go to my MIL for daycare. That woman had mentioned that my MIL had been crying about How colicky my daughter is and how hard it has been adjusting. I have known she has been having a hard time because she has cried to me about it as well. However it really took me by surprise to hear it second hand. I just didn’t expect her to tell other people about it. 

I understand the need to talk about it, but it honestly made me angry to hear that. I’m not sure why exactly, but I think it is because it is something negative about my child. I know my MIL loves my daughter, but it doesn’t hurt any less. 

This week my MIL has clearly been frustrated because every day I picked up my daughter she had nothing good to say about how the day went. My anxiety spiked because I dreaded going to pick her up and having to hear what went wrong. 

My MIL actually has an anxiety disorder as well, severe OCD along with others, but she doesn’t handle it very well so I think that is playing a part in her feeling so overwhelmed. I am trying my best to be understanding, but I am just feeling very hurt. 

When I am with my daughter I don’t feel she is an overly colicky baby. She cries like any baby when she is hungry or annoyed, but not all day long. I just don’t know how to handle my anxiety in this situation because I have never been in a situation like this before. I tried to talk to my husband about it, but that didn’t go over very well. 😒

I am going to put the situation in God’s hands and let him give me strength to get through it. 

Have any of you been in a situation like this? What did you do? 

End of Maternity Leave Anxiety

I have about two and a half weeks left of my maternity leave, and I am starting to get anxious about going back. Not because I have to work. I love my job. I am getting anxious about leaving my daughter. Granted, she will be staying with my MIL, which is such a blessing, but it won’t be the same. My daughter, Eisley, and I have been together since the day she was born, December 23. She was 10 weeks early, so I have stayed with her for an extra long time. She is healthy and strong, but I despise the idea of not being with her. 

The first 50 days of Eisley’s life were spent in the NICU, my husband and I would only get to see her for part of the day. A few hours. We stayed at my sister in law’s house which was 15 minutes from the hospital, and we would go there at night. I think a part of me feels a little bit like I did when we would leave her at the hospital. 

I never thought I would have a difficult time going back to work. These emotions are confusing and new for me. I am not sure how to handle them.

For you working moms, how did you handle going back to work after your leave? 

Here is Eisley trying to hide from me when I tried to wake her up this morning! How can I leave this little thing?!