So over the last few weeks I have been crazy with the baby bug! It’s crazy, because I never thought I would catch it. Being 29 years old and never feeling the pull towards children, I never thought I would develop maternal instincts. It is kind of exciting and scary all at the same time to feel the urge to be a mother. I have a lot of fear about being pregnant because I am afraid of what it could possibly do to my anxiety. I do not want my anxiety to be a raging beast while I would be pregnant. Also, considering some of my anxiousness is caused from the fear of being sick (very annoying) I think having morning sickness would really push my anxiety over the edge. I have been working on sorting through these fears and trying to rationalize them. I do not want to miss out on the opportunity of being a mother just because I am anxious about the process of having the child.
I would also be completely open to adopting a baby. As a teacher I see so many amazing kids being unloved at home and it breaks my heart I already feel as if I am a mother to all of them since I play multiple roles during the day to these kids. Teacher, mother, nurse, and counselor. I would love to give a child who desperately needs a stable home a spoiled upbringing. I believe every child should be spoiled 🙂 (but not to the point where they are bratty of course! Boundaries are healthy) The calling to adopt has really been heavy on my heart.
I am not sure what path we will decide on, but I am looking forward to what God has in store for us. 🙂