Tomorrow I return back to work after an amazing two week Christmas vacation. I loved every moment of the break (except when our entire family came down with the stomach flu, of course). It was wonderful to be able to sleep in and snuggle with my husband and daughter until the late morning. We would then wake up and have brunch and watch television, or listen to music until my daughter was ready for a nap. The best part of the entire vacation was being able to take a nap myself! I took soooo many! It was incredible. For the first time in a year, I finally feel rested!
A part of me is ready to go back to work, because I love teaching, but another part of me is grieving the time I have to give up with my daughter. I will miss being able to see her whenever I want, and hold her when I feel the desire to be snuggled. I can’t exactly do that with my middle school students (that would be frowned upon).
It will be difficult in the morning to drop her off at Grandma’s, but at least I know she is in excellent hands. I will be looking forward to seeing her face when I pick her up after work and she gives me the biggest, most adorable smile! That is what will get me through the day!
Being a woman who is deeply loved, and spoiled slightly, I notice that I forget that others do not have the same life as I do. I do not mean to say that I am rich in money, but I am rich in love. I have always had loving parents who have set boundaries to keep me safe, and a husband who would do anything for me. However, this week I have been reminded that not everyone lives that way.
As a school teacher, I am exposed to so many children and it breaks my heart to see so many of them suffering. I wish I could save all of them, but I know I can’t. I can only show them love and guidance while they are with me during the day.
After these last two days with my students, I am feeling incredibly exhausted! However, in spite of my exhaustion, I am feeling completed fulfilled and refreshed. I feel accomplished and completely satisfied after being able to spend time with my students. I realize that I have a deep passion for teaching and building positive relationships with my kids. So many of my students come from a home that doesn’t provide them with love and respect, so I try to demonstrate those qualities while they are in my classroom. I feel so blessed to be able to be in a profession that aligns with my passion!
While my students were incredible over the last few day, my anxiety was a little off kilter. Since this is my first year in several years being back in a classroom of my own (since I was previously a special Ed co-teacher) I felt anxious about my ability to be successful on my own. It was very intense, since I am not use to teaching without a co-teacher, but I made it through. My anxiety was very high this morning because of a mix up in scheduling, however, I was able to come back down. It is wonderful to be able to control my anxiety instead of being control by it!
I am looking forward to next week and getting to know my students even more! I hope that my anxiety will be eased as I get further into the year and get use to being on my own.
i am beyond excited right now because I found out that next year I will be teaching Language Arts and Social Studies in my OWN classroom for 7th and 8th grade! I am still teaching inclusion special education but I won’t be co-teaching anymore and I couldn’t be more thrilled! I fully support Co- teaching and I think it has the potential to be incredible, however, at my school it has not been working. I am so so so so excited that I get my own class and finally have full creative control over what goes on.
I have been very anxious about my job for next year but it has all turned out well! I need to learn to be have patience and wait for the right time. I kept trying to force things to happen and that only created more anxiety. I just need to let it all go and let God take control. YAY!
I am In need of some prayers and positive thoughts. Tomorrow, I am giving a presentation to my school’s Board of Education about the work I have been doing to promote positive PR through social media. I have never been to a Board meeting, and if I am honest, I am a little nervous. I only have to present for 3-5 minutes, which I can easily fill, I just hope they like what I have to say and I don’t look like a completely idiot! LOL! When I get nervous I tend to crack a lot of jokes ao I am hoping I don’t say anything too weird! LOL
Well this week certainly has been amazing! I feel blessed to be in the education field where I am able to have time off to unwind and recoop! I am sad to leave the cacoon my husband and I have settled into, but I am looking forward to being with my students again!
As a teacher, I have many students in my classes who do not have supportive environments. I try my best to provide them with a classroom that they can all feel safe and valued in, because that may be the only place they experience that sort of care. Even though I have an anxiety disorder, it was caused by genetics, not an unloving home. I was spoiled rotten as a child, and continue to be treated as such by my husband. My heart goes out to all my students who crave love and have no where to find it.
I have to admit that today was not my best day. Work was rough, the kids were wild, and anxiety decided to follow me around all day. When measuring it on my Anxiety scale, it would rank at about a 4, which isn’t overly high but it is still uncomfortable. At one point in the day my eyes welled up with tears while I was working one on one with a student. Luckily, I have had that student for three years and he was very sweet about it. By the time I headed home my anxiety level had risen to a 6.
What I found most helpful in my anxious moments is distraction. I was at home so I decided to listen to my audiobook while I packed for my business trip (I am heading to a technology training tomorrow). I love listening to books so that helped decrease the anxiety. Also, I cuddled my pups, which is actually proven to lower stress levels, so I am going to cuddle even more now! Once I was finished packing I started a new tv series on Netflix to further distract from the anxiousness. I have to admit, it all helped a lot. I am sitting at about a 2 right now.
There is a large part of me that doesn’t want to go to work tomorrow because I want to avoid all stress triggers, but I love my students and they are why I continue to fight this battle against anxiety! I want to be there for them and help them discover the joy in learning! I am going to focus on the positive to keep the anxiety at bay.
What are your strategies for dealing with your anxiety or stress?