These last 50 days nearly destroyed me but i’ll be okay. I few 6 times to Atlanta to help the love of my life get to safety from her abusive boyfriend.,. What does she do? Go back to him..,
Several days a week I visit my daughter, who lives in squalor in one room of one flat. Most of her time is spent on a mattress on the floor. I clean – not funny when she keeps failing to make a journey of three feet to her portable toilet. I cook and wash dishes. Buy things. Why does she behave in this way? She puts it down to OCD, but we can safely say she has got what she always wanted – shuffling off all responsibility for her own life.
Yes, i have learned that we cannot use our disorders as a crutch. There comes a time when we have to use it to propel ourselves forward to become stronger.
This has actually been a rough couple of years. I had to leave my job as a children’s librarian after 26 years, due to health problems. Then in July I had to suspend my health insurance because with my husband and I both on disability we couldn’t afford it. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. I’m thinking I was a horrible person in my past life and I’m working off bad karma 😦
I am so sorry that you are going through this hard time. It is not because of anything you did. Sometimes life is not fair, regardless of how good or bad we are. All we can do in life is press onward and never give up.
General anxiety just stopping me from feeling and getting the things I want. At one point the anxiety was really intense but now im becoming a master at it
Telling your story is really the only solace that one has. The only expectation is that one is not judged. Unfortunately, society kind is not like that. “Professionals” are not like that. Payment is dependent on the label which is truly shameful.
My life has been filled with so many hardships that I can’t even remember them all.
But there is one that keeps haunting me.
4 years ago when I turned 18, my dad and his wife told me that I had 2 days to pack my stuff and find somewhere else to live. They didn’t care if I would be on the street, they just wanted me out. I never knew why.
So I ended up staying with my aunt and cousin for a while until I went to Belgium to visit my, then, boyfriend.
I have my own place now and things are going well, but I will never be able to forgive my dad for kicking me out like that. Although there is no doubt in my heart that it was his wife who made it happen, because she never liked me, and my dad just played along like he always has.
The topic of my page is my story – emetophobia. I’ve battled with it ever since the first time I was sick back in grade school. After relapsing last year it got very difficult, but I’ve come a long way since then. I was afraid of going out to eat, I was paranoid of any food not prepared by me, I was afraid of just being at work. My anxiety was through the roof and I had panic attacks on a whim.
As of now, I am better (but not perfect) in all of those categories I just mentioned. My anxiety is better and I am less prone to freaking out, but I still over-think things at times. I learned that I can’t push this out to those around me, especially after seeing how much I upset my boyfriend with my behavior. I have to learn to control the fear and accept that I am OK in the end.
This past 3 months we have started a journey with my 10 year old princess. She has been formally diagnosed with autism. Although scary as a parent relieved we have a starting point for our journey together
This was part of my most difficult year yet it strengthened my faith.
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These last 50 days nearly destroyed me but i’ll be okay. I few 6 times to Atlanta to help the love of my life get to safety from her abusive boyfriend.,. What does she do? Go back to him..,
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I am sorry
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Several days a week I visit my daughter, who lives in squalor in one room of one flat. Most of her time is spent on a mattress on the floor. I clean – not funny when she keeps failing to make a journey of three feet to her portable toilet. I cook and wash dishes. Buy things. Why does she behave in this way? She puts it down to OCD, but we can safely say she has got what she always wanted – shuffling off all responsibility for her own life.
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Yes, i have learned that we cannot use our disorders as a crutch. There comes a time when we have to use it to propel ourselves forward to become stronger.
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My story is rather clandestine to even myself.
But, I’ve found my solace in writing.
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That is wonderful that you have found solace.
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This has actually been a rough couple of years. I had to leave my job as a children’s librarian after 26 years, due to health problems. Then in July I had to suspend my health insurance because with my husband and I both on disability we couldn’t afford it. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. I’m thinking I was a horrible person in my past life and I’m working off bad karma 😦
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I am so sorry that you are going through this hard time. It is not because of anything you did. Sometimes life is not fair, regardless of how good or bad we are. All we can do in life is press onward and never give up.
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Thank you so much for saying that. I feel guilty for whining when so many people are much more worse off.
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No it is ok to vent 🙂
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General anxiety just stopping me from feeling and getting the things I want. At one point the anxiety was really intense but now im becoming a master at it
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That is great that you are able to embrace your GAD and put it in its place!
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Reblogged this on Earth Speaks Out and commented:
Go ahead!
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Awesome!! Thank you!!
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Telling your story is really the only solace that one has. The only expectation is that one is not judged. Unfortunately, society kind is not like that. “Professionals” are not like that. Payment is dependent on the label which is truly shameful.
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Yes
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I try to keep my “stories” my blog posts short and sweet. I don’t even attempt to read long drawn out posts.
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i love how you all are so open! 🙂
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🙂 So do I!!
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My life has been filled with so many hardships that I can’t even remember them all.
But there is one that keeps haunting me.
4 years ago when I turned 18, my dad and his wife told me that I had 2 days to pack my stuff and find somewhere else to live. They didn’t care if I would be on the street, they just wanted me out. I never knew why.
So I ended up staying with my aunt and cousin for a while until I went to Belgium to visit my, then, boyfriend.
I have my own place now and things are going well, but I will never be able to forgive my dad for kicking me out like that. Although there is no doubt in my heart that it was his wife who made it happen, because she never liked me, and my dad just played along like he always has.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sorry that all of those things happened to you. I am glad that things are going better for you now.
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The topic of my page is my story – emetophobia. I’ve battled with it ever since the first time I was sick back in grade school. After relapsing last year it got very difficult, but I’ve come a long way since then. I was afraid of going out to eat, I was paranoid of any food not prepared by me, I was afraid of just being at work. My anxiety was through the roof and I had panic attacks on a whim.
As of now, I am better (but not perfect) in all of those categories I just mentioned. My anxiety is better and I am less prone to freaking out, but I still over-think things at times. I learned that I can’t push this out to those around me, especially after seeing how much I upset my boyfriend with my behavior. I have to learn to control the fear and accept that I am OK in the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is great that you have learned from your experiences and made your life better
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This past 3 months we have started a journey with my 10 year old princess. She has been formally diagnosed with autism. Although scary as a parent relieved we have a starting point for our journey together
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That is a fantastic way to look at it! I love your attitude, and you will be a wonderful light to other parents who are going through the same thing
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