It was Tough, but I won!

Today was rough

But I stayed super tough

I didn’t give in

Anxiety didn’t win

I deserve a pat on the back!

 

Finding Myself Today!

Yesterday I was really struggling with the idea that I can no longer experience carefree moments or spontaneous adventures. Well, today instead of wallowing in”poor me”, I decided to be proactive! I took my daughter and husband outside and we all played in the sprinklers! It felt so great to run around in the water and laugh hysterically!

Sometimes in the rush of responsibility and parenthood I forget to find the joy in the everyday. My daughter’s laugh and her enormous smile when in tickle her! My husband’s lips on mine as he says good morning. These moments are perfect.

I need to make sure I don’t take them for granted.

Here is the smile that lights my heart on fire!

Tackling a Goal – Fear of Failing

As the New Year approaches, it is inevitable to think about resolutions, or goals, we are going to set for ourselves for the next 365 days. Eat better. Loose weight. Work on cleaning the house more. I could work on all of these areas this year, but I want to focus on trying to fulfill one of my life long dreams: writing a novel. I have ALWAYS wanted to write a novel. I can remember being in early elementary school, and reading books, and thinking to myself that I would love to have a book of my own.

It seems that every time I come up with an idea, I get stuck somewhere along the way, and then I loose my motivation. I think there is a part of me that is afraid to fail, and by not ever completing a story, I can never fail. When I think about my own logic, it seems ridiculous. I have so many amazing stories in my mind, and I desperately want to share them with the world, and the first step to doing that is writing!

This year, I am focusing on writing! It’s time to put aside my fears and insecurities and start writing with abandon!

Do you have a goal you have always wanted to achieve but have been too afraid to do it? What are you working on this year?

An Anxious Mother

Having an anxiety disorder is difficult. Sprinkle on being a MOM with an anxiety disorder; well that’s an entirely new story! I have been working to navigate my anxiety since my beautiful daughter was born 8 months ago. It has been under control, for the most part, but there are times when it isn’t. Those are the rough times. Extra so now that I have Eisley.

There are SO many things to worrry about as a parent! I had no idea! Pretty much everything is a hazard. Yesterday I gave her some remnants of the peanut I had eaten off my finger, and afterwards I was terrified she was going to have an allergic reaction! (She didn’t by the way. She was fine!)

I try not to think about what could go wrong, or what could hurt her, too much. But it’s hard not to. When I find myself lost in panic, I turn my thoughts into prayers, and do my best to let God take it. Easier said than done, but it is a work in progress.

As of now, my anxiety is low and I have been soaking up the joy of the weekend. It is monsoon season here in Arizona, and it rained all day! It was amazing!

I am working on living in the moment with my husband and daughter, and I am treasuring the blessings they both bring me each day. Even though anxiety sucks, I refuse to let it steal anymore time from me! I will carry on in spite of it! God gives me the strength to defeat it!

No anxiety!

No anxiety 

It has been beautiful

I am super blessed!

What is your choice

Difficult times visit us all, and it is up To us to to decide how we respond. Will we give into the negativity that accompanies uncertainty or will we decide to stay positive and remember our trails do not last forever. 

What is your choice?

Prayers needed!

Tomorrow, my husband interviews for an assistant principal position, and he is in need of prayers! He has been doing the job already since Christmas but must now be interviewed to formally hold the position for next year. There are a few other applicants and interviews can be incredibly stressful. 

 Just send relaxing and calm thoughts and prayers his direction tomorrow afternoon! 

Thank you for all your support! 

Good mornin! Good mornin!

Good morning, everyone! I hope you slept well and I wish you a beautiful and fantastic day! 



Show Love by putting down your Phone

This time of year, Valentine’s, can be a difficult season for many people. Not everyone has someone to share it with and I think it is important that we show love to not just our Valentine, but also the people around us. Remember to act kindly to the people you encounter though the day. Have conversations at the check-out. Smile at the people passing you by. Don’t forget to look around you and notice what is going on. We may all be on our technology but that doesn’t mean the world around us stops. We have a responsibility to interact with the world, not just walk though it. We could very well miss out on showing kindness to someone who needs it.

I challenge you to put down your phone and make a conversation today. It may be awkward at first, but you may discover something as you do it!

Hard times can be used for good!

I have touched on this topic in the past, but it has been brought to my attention again, and I believe that it is something that should stay in the forefront of our minds. We all go through hardships in our lives, some more than others. There is nothing we can do to change what has happened in our past, but we can change what happens in the future. After we have finally made it to the other side of our struggles, we are able to reflect upon them and discover that we are stronger. We are also able to support others who are going through the same struggles. No one understands more than someone with first-hand experience.

Since my anxiety manifested itself in my adolescence, I have always prayed for it to be taken away. I always thought there was something wrong with me, and that I was doing something wrong in my life because I continued to struggle with it even though I felt as if I continually prayed for God to take my burden. Over the years I became disheartened and fell further into anxiety. There were times when I had no anxiety and I was so thankful! However, it kept returning and I kept wondering what was wrong with me.

After years of thinking I was doing something wrong, God has finally made it clear to me that it is NOTHING I have done. I am not a bad person. I do not lack faith. It is purely a biological imbalance. I do not want to say that it is a flaw, because I do not believe that God makes mistakes. Do I wish that I didn’t have anxiety? More than anything. However, I am at the point where I am able to see that my anxiety has a purpose. There is a reason why my struggle is anxiety. I think that it is so I can help others who suffer from the same affliction. I have always had the gift of gab, combined with the inability to be embarrassed. These qualities combined allow me to open up to others and share my story. Provide hope for those around me who feel as if they have nothing left.

I am here to tell you now that there is something left. You have so much to give, even if you are flawed. Even if you are afraid. We are all afraid at one time or another. What matters is what we decide to do with that fear. Will we allow it to tear us down and defeat us? Or will we use it to propel us forward and overcome the hardships? What will you choose?